Daryl Dixon X Reader - What's That Word?
by luckystar283
Summary: Reader teaches Daryl to read. This takes place in the prison during season 4. UPDATE: As per request I am now updating this story. TRIGGER WARNING: Slight mention of rape in chapter 5. Warning: Contains minor swearing.
1. What's That Word?

A/N - Hi Guys, this is my second upload and like I said before I'm up for constructive criticism so feel free to mail me... If anyone likes this I may do a sequel or update it... depends.

UPDATE: As requested I am in the middle of continuing this story. As can be seen in the reviews section I was going to wait till January but I am currently in the middle of Chapter 2 and it should be uploaded sometime this month. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy the next chapter ; )

 **Warning - Contains minor swearing.**

* * *

The prison was freezing, most days it was almost unbearably hot but a heavy thunder-storm had made it unusually cold. Daryl found Rick in one of the cells sitting with Beth and Judith, Rick looked up expectantly "Daryl, do you need something?"

"I need a job Rick, a supply run, walkers to clear out, hunting, anything".

Rick looked up apologetically to the fidgety man before him; everyone in the prison knew how much Daryl hated it when there was nothing to do, nothing to prove his usefulness. "Sorry Daryl, the rain's too heavy for supply runs, the bottom levels are safe and closed off, and Glenn is manning the watch tower" Rick answered.

"Hey, maybe (Y/N) has something for you to do, she/he always seems busy" Beth chipped in, the more Daryl thought about it the more this appeared to be true, you always seemed to be doing a job whether it was killing walkers, servicing the vehicles, helping the newcomers from Woodbury, or learning new skills from the other survivors.

"Where is she/he?" Daryl grunted

"Last I remember she/he was with Carol in the rec room".

Daryl headed over to the rec room but stopped short of the door, you were in there but instead of Carol you were with the entire groups' children teaching them how to read and encouraging the older one's to teach the younger ones. Daryl stared a bit longer, he couldn't help it, to him you looked… like a real mess, you were grimier than most of the kids, your hair was still dripping, and there was a fresh cut just above your left arm. The entire image made Daryl smirk, he guessed that you'd been working outside before the storm hit, he gazed a little longer for despite the messy way you looked, to him you were still amazing, though he knew he would never admit such a thing.

Daryl turned to leave but didn't get far before he heard the door opening behind him, "Hey Daryl, one of the kids saw you at the door, what's up?" you enquired joyfully, Daryl turned to look at you, ' _always has that damn smile on her face'_ he thought "There ain't nothin' wrong, Rick said you might have a job but I guess he was wrong".

"Well actually, you could help me teach the kids to read, god know I'm outnumbered massively, that and I have no clue where Carol got to".

"No"

"Why not? It would be really help- "

"I SAID NO" the sound echoed through the hallway, the silence that followed was almost stifling.

He turned to leave again but you blocked his path "Hey, I didn't need the attitude Daryl, what the hell is wrong with you?" your voice was low but annoyed.

"Those kids in there ain't gonna learn shit from that scrawl, do you really think they're gonna survive with that 'cos let me tell you something, when a walker attacks, reading ain't gonna do shit" his movements were becoming more erratic as he gestured behind him.

"You're wrong, reading can save lives, when they're out there they can read warnings from other survivors, they can use maps, and most importantly if we ever get out of this mess then books can help rebuild society by teaching them farming, medical skills, how to build, and so much more. So tell me Daryl, what's the real issue here?" you looked at each other both frustrated and offended.

"There ain't a problem" his voice was still raised.

"Don't lie, just tell me what's wrong".

"(Y/N) just leave me alone".

"Look maybe I can help if you just tell me what the probl-"

"I CAN'T READ" he yelled cutting you off… "I never learned, look at me (Y/N), I'm just trailer trash, my whole family is trailer trash and while you were sittin' pretty and learning to read, you know what I was doing? Nothing, cos' no one had time for worthless junk like me".

"Daryl…" you looked up at him sorrowfully "Your past doesn't define you, it's your actions now that show who you are, I see a man who does all he can to survive but I also see a man who also does everything he can to ensure his groups survival, someone who cares and has so much to offer".

You hugged him tight and he remained rigid in your arms, "It doesn't matter to me if you can't read, it doesn't matter to anyone, all that matters is that you remain yourself and keep doing what you're doing".

"(Y/N) I… Uh I…, let me go afore' you catch my stupid" he shoved you away lightly; a small blush peppered his cheeks.

"And hey if you want I can teach you how to read" you offered.

"I ain't staying in a room of rugrats".

"That's fine, I'll teach you one to one".

"Pigs'll fly before I can learn to read".

"I'll take that bet" you grinned at him happily.

* * *

(Time Skip)

It had been a few weeks and at first progress with Daryl had been slow but now as you both sat on the bottom bunk in one of the cells with a copy of "Lord of the Flies" between you, Daryl was reading aloud "That's right. Can't catch my breath. I was the only boy in our school what had…, what's that word?" he asked, a puzzled expression meeting his eyes,

"I'll tell you but first try sounding it out".

He sighed "Fine, ass-f-ma, what he hell is ass-f-ma?" he growled almost impatiently.

"You were so close Daryl, the word is asthma, the th sound is almost silent in asthma but you did great".

"I hope the asshole that made silent letters was killed by walkers".

You giggled at that "Well you've been doing fantastic at this and I for one think that you've earned a reward".

"Oh yeah? And what have you got in mind, another book?".

You grabbed his face with both hands and kissed him lightly before letting go, he looked at you surprised and you looked back, a little nervous.

"If I knew reading was gonna be like this I would've started sooner" he said shoving the book a side as he pulled you toward him for a deeper kiss.

* * *

(Time Skip)

Daryl walked the muddy path on his own searching for any sign that his previous group had been here. ' _Damn it, how the fuck did we lose the prison, I gotta find someone… anyone_ ' he thought. After what seemed like hours of travelling Daryl came across a grimy sign by the road "Terminus whoever arrives survives" he read aloud, and then underneath written in blood "Daryl, or anyone from the prison, I'm heading towards Terminus, I hope you find this – (Y/N)" Daryl touched the blood tentatively, it was mostly dry but still had a slightly sticky consistency; he thought of your face and pulled his crossbow higher on his shoulder setting off on his way to terminus.


	2. Three Questions

A/N - As requested, here is a second chapter, I will be continuing this though I don't know when, probably soon. I had fun writing this, please review and tell me your opinions.

* * *

DARYL POV

Daryl and Beth stepped into a woodland clearing; the sun was starting to set leaving a dark orange sky and the floor was damp with a covering of leaves after a light rainfall. The two survivors had found each other shortly after the attack at the prison though they had not yet found anyone else. Beth remained filled with hope that they would eventually find the group but Daryl's determination dwindled as there had been no sign of the group and Walkers had driven both him and Beth of the path to Terminus and deeper into the labyrinth of the surrounding woodland; further away from (Y/N).

After setting up camp for the night Daryl began skinning a snake he had shot earlier; Beth sat next to the campfire in silence watching Daryl, she was suddenly aware that without the rest of the group there was not much that connected her and Daryl. Throughout their short travel together Beth had seen the full extent of Daryl's survival instincts and how hers paled in comparison, she was also left thinking about the recent death of her father and how alone she felt without him and Maggie. She glanced over at Daryl again ' _Well if I don't want to feel alone then I'll have to find some common ground, it's just like daddy used to say 'Blessed are they who have the gift of making friends, for it is one of God's best gifts'_ she reflected filled with new resolve.

However the longer she observed Daryl the meaner he looked and it was only a short while before she lost her nerve. Daryl cooked the snake in silence, his thoughts lingering on the day he met you.

* * *

The sun was beating down relentlessly leaving the ground dry and cracked, Rick and Daryl had left the prison on a supply run; they had drove bout 25 miles out towards a small roadside town that they hadn't yet searched. The search produced nothing of value but before they left a group of around 12 Walkers was alerted to their presence by the sound of a window smashing near them. Together Rick and Daryl had dispatched nearly the full group of Walkers but while Rick was grappling one another came at Daryl from behind, Daryl turned but was too slow and he was pushed to the ground, he had little room to do anything but keep the Walker at arms length. The Walker was bearing down heavily on Daryl when a knife pierced its skull and pulled it off him.

Rick ran over having killed the last Walker and pointed his Colt at you, the safety off, Daryl got up and grabbed his crossbow, following Rick's lead he kept it trained on you.

"I… I don't want any trouble" you said hesitantly, placing your knife on the ground and keeping your hands out.

Daryl examined you, your clothes were torn and covered with dust, you were thin and scraggly, it almost looked to him like you shouldn't be standing. He kept examining you, the only weapon you carried was the serrated hunting knife you had just placed on the ground; the skinny jeans, vest and black hiking boots you wore made it near impossible for any extra weapons to be concealed.

"Why did you help us?" Rick demanded keeping the gun held up.

"Because it was the right thing to do" you replied simply but carefully.

Daryl looked at Rick waiting for a signal of some kind, Rick gave a small nod in his direction and they both lowered their weapons slightly.

"Do you have a group?" Daryl spoke up.

"No, I'm alone" you replied, your body relaxed slightly.

"For how long?" Rick interjected

"Since the beginning"

"Where are you staying?"

"Wherever my travels take me"

Rick holstered his gun but Daryl kept his crossbow out in case you tried anything.

"We have a group a little North of here, it has resources and it's easy to defend. You helped us out and you could be an asset to us but if you want to be part of our group then you need to answer 3 questions".

You thought the situation over carefully ' _This could be an opportunity, if I was in their shoes I would have been on the defensive too. Other people and supplies sound great, plus if I don't answer their questions right then I've lost nothing… except maybe my life… No, they wouldn't kill me, right? No this guy seems reasonable, and the guy with him_ ' you looked over at Daryl ' _Alright, well he seems less stable but he does appear to listen to the other guy_ '.

You looked back at Rick "Ok, ask away".

"How many Walkers you killed?"

"Too many to count".

"How many people you killed?"

"None" you replied taken aback.

"Why?"

"The same reason I saved him today" you answered motioning to Daryl "Because we need to keep our humanity, for ourselves, for others, for the future, you can't just survive in a world like this, you need to live".

Daryl was brought back to the present by the crackling of the fire, ' _One way or another I'll find you_ '

* * *

YOUR POV

Though your feet hurt and you hadn't stopped to rest for what felt like days you pushed on further towards Terminus, the image of Daryl kept you going, ' _I know we'll find each other, he'll know where I'm going, even if I have to write on every Terminus sign till I get there_ '.


	3. New Hope

A/N - Man I did not expect this up so fast but I couldn't sleep so here I am with a new chapter, point out any grammar or spelling mistakes in a pm please as I am sure my sleep deprived brain may have made some. Also I genuinely had to look up the cars they use in each season and how to fix and maintain cars for this chapter, but hey ho, you learn something new every day. So on with the chapter and please review, I love to hear opinions and than you to the amazing reviewers and followers so far.

* * *

DARYL POV

Daryl and Beth stood outside the ramshackle cabin in the middle of the woods, the sun was shining high as usual and the pair seemed out of place yelling at each other in the otherwise peaceful scene. They both stood in front of a Walker which Daryl had pinned to a tree with his crossbow and Beth had killed for their own protection.

"I remember… when that little girl came out of the barn, after my mom, you were like me, and now God forbid you ever let anyone get to close" Beth whispered, a slight waver in her voice

"Too close huh? You know all about that. You lost two boyfriends; you can't even shed a TEAR. YOUR WHOLE FAMILY'S GONE AND ALL YOU CAN DO IS GO OUT LOOKING FOR HOOTS LIKE SOME DUMB COLLEGE BITCH" Daryl yelled as he leaned in closer to Beth towering over her.

"Screw you, you don't get it".

"NO YOU DON'T GET IT. EVERYONE WE KNOW IS DEAD".

"YOU DON'T KNOW THAT".

"I MIGHT AS WELL BECAUSE YOU AIN'T NEVER GONNA SEE THEM AGAIN".

Beth avoided eye contact as a small sob caught in her throat.

"RICK. YOU AIN'T NEVER GONNA SEE MAGGIE AGAIN" Daryl roared.

"Daryl just stop" Beth said grabbing Daryl's arm.

"No" he pulled away, "The Governor rode right up to our gates… maybe if I wouldn't have stopped looking. Maybe 'cos I gave up, that's on me".

"Daryl-" Beth observed her fellow survivor; she had never seen him this emotive, she doubted that anyone besides his brother had. Daryl pulled away again.

"No" his voice barely a whimper this time "Your dad… maybe, maybe I could've done something".

Beth hugged Daryl from behind, letting him cry for a while; anything was better than to let him feel this pain alone and for the first time she wondered how long he had shouldered such burdens, never letting anyone know how he felt or what was wrong. She had a feeling that this was the first time that he had let anyone see him like this, his brother Merle would never have been a shoulder to cry on and she had never heard him talk of any other family.

After that session outside the cabin Beth and Daryl grew closer to one another, Daryl taught Beth how to hunt and survive while Beth traded stories from her memories, from her father, from the bible; they were content in each other's company as they continued their search for the group. Daryl's mind was never far from you but he found comfort in another person for the first time in a long time.

* * *

YOUR POV

On the way to Terminus you spotted a small suburban town near the railroad that acted as a pathway towards your destination. You stopped in some undergrowth nearby to observe ' _There aren't many Walkers, and if I'm careful enough and don't make any noise then I can grab some supplies without attracting any attention_ ' you thought; it was only earlier that day that you had noticed there was only 1 apple, half a protein bar, and a trickle of water left in the pack you had managed to grab upon fleeing the prison.

Overall the supply run had been a success bringing in a few tins of canned food, two more bottles of water, a few tomatoes from a greenhouse, four more protein bars and an axe which you kept with the hunting knife. Throughout the run you scanned the town for any vehicle that might make the journey easier, ' _Cars will be too big to run near the railway and I don't want to lose my way, plus I'll have to stop at signs. Huh, Daryl's bike would be ideal right about now_ ' the image of you on Daryl's motorbike brought a smile to your lips and you thought back to your time together at the prison.

* * *

On your second week at the prison after learning the routines and noting the best escape routes in case of an emergency you sought to learn a new skill; most of the survivors were out doing jobs so you resolved to asking the first person you saw to help you. Whilst heading towards the prison yard you saw Daryl near the corridor exit and ran to catch up with him.

"Hey Daryl" you beamed catching up to him.

He grunted in reply carrying on in his brisk pace.

The man had kept his distance since you arrived at the prison ' _Probably just wary of getting close to another stranger, I know I was for a while… Well you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar_ ' you thought, ' _Well, if there was ever a time or place to make new friends it's here_ '.

"What you doing right now" you asked casually as you tried to keep pace with him.

"Vehicle maintenance" he muttered, remaining a man of few words.

"Great, can you teach me?" you got straight to the point.

Daryl stopped short and turned to observe you, that stare seemed to run right through you as if he was weighing up his options. His expression was a mixture of curiosity, mistrust, and puzzlement.

' _This one hasn't been here long, why spend time with me? Ain't nobody want to spend time with me. Could just want to steal the cars and run, nah would've done that already. Shows good survival instincts if she/he can pick up the skills_ ' Daryl reflected. "Follow me" he mumbled leading to the cars.

In the following weeks Daryl had taught you just about every part of the cars inside and out and how to maintain them, his bike was off limits but you were ok with that. The two of you were standing close leaning into the bonnet of the Dodge Charger LX Police Package examining various parts of the car.

"What's that piece?" Daryl quizzed motioning to a circular box near the battery.

"That would be the air filter" you replied confidently.

"Job?" he barked, it was more of a demand then a question.

"It removes dust, pollen, and mould from the air so they don't clog up the car".

"Maintenance?".

"Remove the air filter; check how much dirt has penetrated the plates which should be none if you've been doing the job right and clean it as best you can or better yet replace a damaged one with one salvaged from another car if it's truly been damaged".

He smiled proudly leaning in slightly, he blinked a few times and cleared his throat and avoiding eye contact "Good, you did good but don't go gettin' cocky, you still can't touch my bike".

From then on the two of you had been closer. Daryl had taught you many more skills like hunting and tracking; it was during crossbow training when he was holding your aim steady from behind that you developed romantic feelings toward him however you kept these feelings secret believing them to be one-sided.

* * *

Three figures across the town brought you out of your reverie forcing you into hiding behind a picket fence. The first thing you noticed was a katana, the second thing was a sheriff's hat ' _Well shit, if there is a God then he's smiling on me_ '.

You ran up to the group not wanting to shout to avoid the few Walkers that were still nearby and caught up with them. You both exchanged stories for the past weeks and while it was utterly depressing that Judith and the others were still missing the fact that you had found each other filled you with hope that the rest of the group would soon follow.

"Rick, I saw a sign about a place called Terminus. Whoever arrives survives" you quoted, "The map I saw shows that it's near the end of the tracks and I've seen a ton of them the further I get".

The group stopped and Michonne eyed Rick suspiciously "What do you think?" she asked waiting for his input as leader.

"Let's go" he whispered, "Let's go" and with that the group headed on with a new goal in mind.


	4. Claimed

A/N Holy crap, I reached 500 readers... just wow, thanks guys and here's the next chapter, please R&R.

* * *

DARYL POV

Daryl walked on in silence completely dejected, a broken man; his thoughts swirling to the previous night's events. The funeral home was well stocked and defendable if the need arose, Daryl and Beth had feasted on some of the supplies, spent a fun evening together, and Beth had even played music; such a rarity in the world. ' _She would've been safe if I hadn't been so fucking stupid. Couldn't keep Beth safe, couldn't keep Hershel safe, Rick, Judith, Carol… (Y/N)_ '.

He thought back to how he'd chased the car that had taken Beth screaming her name until his voice was hoarse and he could no longer run, he did not cry; there were no more tears left to shed, there was no emotion that could fill this hole, just a big black emptiness.

He looked around examining Joe and his marauders who'd found him earlier that day, after sizing him up and seeing his skills Joe had given Daryl the choice to travel with them. ' _Yeah, real choice, travel with them or be killed by 'em_ ' Daryl thought, his mind kept going back to Joe's previous words ' _Come on now, suicide's stupid, why hurt yourself when you can hurt others_ '.

' _I know guys like these, hell I used to be these guys, Rick wouldn't have gave up he'd have left at the first chance he got_ ' the continued thoughts were getting darker in Daryl's mind.

Your face appeared in his mind ' _So why are you still with them Daryl?_ '

' _Cos' you're dead, Rick's dead, Beth's probably dead too_ ' his mind replied automatically.

Beth's face joined yours ' _Remember what I said Daryl, you don't know that anyone's dead, have faith_ ' she prompted.

"How do you two have so much faith in things you don't know" he whispered aloud.

"What's that you say?" one of the nearby marauders demanded.

"I said where are we headed" Daryl improvised.

"Well you see Daryl, I had me this friend, Lou, and some bastard killed him for no God damned reason at all. So we're gonna teach this ass-hole why it's wrong to kill one of us and we're gonna teach him all the way, right boys?" Joe goaded with confidence, a chorus of cheers erupted behind him.

* * *

YOUR POV

Rick led your small group with you at the rear and Michonne and Carl in the middle. It was hard to take anything seriously when watching Michonne and Carl compete on the tracks over who got first pick on a chocolate bar; it was nice to see something fun in such dark times even if Rick was totally oblivious to it.

"I think we've got about a days worth of water left, we're lucky it's cooled off a little bit but…" Rick turned around and observed the ongoing balancing contest while you giggled in the back "What are you doing?"

"Winning a bet" Carl replied cockily.

"In your dreams" Michonne interjected.

The situation grew funnier as Carl won the bet and demanded payment, Michonne pouting like a child; although Carl had won the bet he still shared his reward with Michonne insisting that they always shared ' _This is the best part_ ' your mind whispered ' _Travelling with family, that's what we've all become after all, they welcomed me without hesitation, someone they never knew and they accepted me just like that. Well then we'll just have to find the rest of the group, because that's what families do, they don't leave one of their own behind_ '.

* * *

DARYL POV

The day of travel had been long and arduous; the group stopped outside a derelict mechanic building near the railroad. Daryl had had to forget everything that applied in Rick's group and learn the rules of this one; after an argument that morning he had learned the rule of claiming though he still had not accepted it. He looked over to Len who was glaring right back, after an argument earlier which had resulted in half a rabbit each Len had taken to hating Daryl; the rabbit hadn't bothered Daryl, the way he had spoken about you had, even if Len was talking about Beth Daryl's mind still applied it to you.

Throughout the day Joe had insisted that Daryl belonged with his group and that in his group there were only three rules: claim what you wanted, don't steal, and no lying; the punishment for breaking these rules was a beating that matched the severity of the crime.

"Hey, there ain't no us" Daryl stated after the explanation of the rules.

"You leaving right now?" Joe asked, Daryl didn't respond "Nope? Then sure seems like there's an us".

The next morning the whole group had watched as Daryl was falsely accused of stealing Len's rabbit, they all knew that Len had planted it on Daryl and so when the order came they were only too glad to kill Len.

After a morning spent travelling along the railroad the group came across a sign for Terminus.

"Getting closer" one of the men volunteered after examining the sign.

"You seen this before?" Daryl asked keeping the worry out of his voice and thinking of (Y/N) for the first time since joining the group.

"Oh yeah, I'll tell you what it is, it's a lie, it ain't no sanctuary for all. You think they'd welcome guys like you and me with open arms." Joe responded, it was more of a statement than a question.

"Is that where we're headed?"

"So now you're asking"

"That's right".

"Well you see Daryl, that's where the walking piece of faecal matter that killed Lou is, and since Tony saw his face that's enough for a reckoning".

The group continued on but Daryl stayed staring at the Terminus sign, in the bottom corner he spotted a small D written in blood and with that he knew you had been there. ' _What will these guys do if they find you?_ ' Daryl thought ' _As long as I follow the rules and claim you then I know they can't do nothing… (Y/N), you're mine and I promise to protect you, these guys just wanna kill their guy. I promise as long as I'm around there ain't nothing that's gonna hurt you_ '.


	5. Countdowns and Lost Hope

TRIGGER WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS MENTIONS OF RAPE.

A/N - This one took a while but hey' I've been busy. I hope this chapter feels ok, I tried to stick to the episode whilst also making it original but I promise the next chapter is gonna be better. Also because of this chapter I'm upping the rating to M. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy it.

* * *

YOUR POV

The day so far had led to a mixture of feelings as Rick, Michonne, Carl, and you travelled through the autumn lit woods. There had been a discussion on whether to tell the people running Terminus what you had all been through but in the end Rick had said what everyone was thinking, that he didn't know. The feeling of uncertainty was unsettling, ' _Just a short while ago things were finally coming together, we had a defendable position, crops were growing, there was a community…a routine. How can things switch from one thing to another so fast?_ ' you questioned.

You looked over to Carl, he looked more disheartened then anyone else at that moment, ' _He's lost so much… yet he hasn't complained, I've got to keep it together, for them_ '.

Your face brightened as an idea came to mind "Hey guys" you called; the three stopped walking devoting their full attention to you.

"Why did the cross-eyed teacher get fired?" you exclaimed.

There was no response from the group "Because he couldn't control his pupils" you practically yelled in excitement.

Michonne bent over in silent giggles at the unexpected joke, Rick's smile shined through and it wasn't long before Carl joined in. ' _Wow, I can't believe I'd almost forgotten how to joke. It's so weird how something so simple can make the world a brighter place._ ' Your mind happily chimed.

Group morale only rose as Rick found a rabbit, albeit skinny, in a snare that he had taught Carl to set up the night before.

' _Well things can only go up from he-_ ' the thought was interrupted by a man's screams "HELP! SOMEBODY HELP!" the desperate plea echoed through the woods. Carl bolted through the woods desperate to help whoever was screaming.

"Carl Stop!" Rick ordered, "CARL" the group gave chase weapons at the ready in order to defend Carl and the mysterious stranger but the group reached a sudden halt when they saw the hopelessness of the situation. There was a single man trapped in a circle of Walkers, his screams drawing more in by the second Carl was about to take a shot with his pistol when Rick dragged him back, you and Michonne keeping look out for any stray Walkers; Michonne kept a tense grip on her katana while you readied your axe in one hand and kept the other near your hunting knife, palms sweating.

"We can't help him" Rick whispered to Carl.

"We've gotta go" Michonne interjected, a certain authority in her voice.

The four left the slaughter, running through the woods and down the train tracks, a sizable group of Walkers not far behind. They came to a sudden halt seeing a smaller group of Walkers feeding on a carcass further ahead. ' _There's just no end_ ' you thought dejectedly, your heartbeat elevated and your breaths coming in rapid pants. Rick took two of the Walkers out with the butt of his pistol, Michonne started dispatching them with controlled swings of her katana; you threw your hunting knife at Carl and began swinging your axe like a maniac ready to take on the world.

After taking care of the Walkers in front, the now tired group pressed swiftly on, determined to get a safe distance from the ones pursuing them. It was sundown before you all stopped at a lone car abandoned in the middle of the road.

"I thought there would have been some houses down here by now" Michonne noted.

"We'll just have to stop here" Rick stated, scouting the area for danger.

* * *

The night set in quickly, its darkness consuming everything around it; Carl slept peacefully in the car while Rick, Michonne, and you sat around a campfire to keep warm.

"That was one small rabbit" Rick commented.

"It was something" Michonne replied "Gotta hand it to the thing, it travelled well"

Rick let out a small laugh "Have you noticed? It's all we talk about anymore, food. I forgot what this feels like".

"Yeah well, I hope we can forget again soon".

"We're close, I was thinking it could be another day; if the folks there are taking people in they have to be strong, they have to have a system".

"I wonder if the whole thing's legit".

You sat listening to the conversation from the sidelines, although you had attempted to raise group spirits earlier you could not raise your own now. You had grown accustomed to the safety of the prison and although you knew how to survive the reality of the situation was hitting hard. ' _I should have prepared myself for an event like this, what if I never see the other again? How could I be so stupid? That's just like me though, dreaming on and on that we'd all be safe forever, that we would all be happy and that it would all be shits and giggles forever and ever. Well take a look around and get used to it because this is what life is, one shit storm after another_ ' the aggressive thoughts swirled around your mind like angry hornets trapped in a jar.

A twig snapped within the tree line and the three of you were put on high alert; Rick rose slowly, Michonne grabbed her sword and you reached down for your hunting knife. When nothing ensued the conversation continued until a man stepped out of the tree line and held Rick at gunpoint with a pistol to his head, before you or Michonne had a chance to reach your weapons you were surrounded by a group, most of which were holding guns.

The man who had Rick began talking "Oh deary me" he said in a condescending tone "You screwed up asshole, you hear me? You screwed up".

The scene was tense around the small camp, you examined the five men holding your group hostage being careful not to move ' _Shit… look at their eyes, I've seen that look before, those are the eyes of people who kill for pleasure; fuck, maybe, just maybe, we can reason with them, give them what we have and continue living. Yeah right, looking at these guys they're gonna kill us and take the shit they want_ '.

The older man started speaking again "Today's a day of reckoning sir, restitution. " he presented the situation like a showman, a showman who was having fun with the contestants in a competition that only he knew was fixed.

You looked around at each of the men, most of them were watching the show, but one was keeping an eye on Carl in the car, Carl was panting in fear, observing the whole event from inside the car.

One of the men was giving you the once-over like a hound staring at a piece of meat, he licked his lips quickly and shuffled from one foot to the other ' _Oh God, they're gonna rape us then kill us or kill us then rape us; who cares what order they do it in but they're gonna do it. Oh God please no… What am I thinking there's no God any more, either that or he's one hell of a bastard. You hear that? I'm onto you, you bastard_ ' your thoughts were filled with anger and unmatched terror.

The leader of the group grabbed your attention again when he started counting down from 10 ready to shoot Rick.

* * *

DARYL POV

"8 Mississippi" Joe cackled.

"NO" Daryl demanded stepping forth from the undergrowth, he moved slowly towards the group not wanting to rile them further "Hold up".

"You're stopping me on eight Daryl" Joe stated in an annoyed tone.

"Just hold up" he walked over to Rick sparing a glance at you and Michonne on either side.

"The thing about nowadays is we got nothing but time, say your piece Daryl".

"These people, you're gonna let them go, these are good people".

The older man smiled at Daryl but kept his gun to Rick's head "Well you see Daryl our friend Lou would have to disagree but I'll have to speak for him cos' your friend here strangled him in the bathroom".

Daryl nodded and placed his crossbow slowly upon the ground "You want blood, I get it. Take it from me, man". ' _Sure these guys'll beat me but it won't be too bad, they have a code. As long as I can keep Rick alive and all of them safe then it'll be worth it_ ' Daryl reflected as he awaited the result.

You looked over to Daryl ' _No, don't be stupid, you can't trust these monsters. Don't throw your life away for us_ ' while you wished to scream your thoughts at him you kept them to yourself for although you mistrusted Daryl's newfound companions you still owed him the benefit of the doubt.

Deadly silence engulfed the area as if death herself was watching and picking a side. For the first time since the situation began Joe was no longer smiling, "This man killed our friend" he addressed Daryl "You say he's good people, see now that right there is-is-is a lie. IT'S A LIE". As if on command three of the men broke off and started beating Daryl giving him no time to fight back.

"DARYL" you screamed in a strangled voice that you barely recognised.

Rick looked to Joe "No it was me, it was just me involved, leave them out of this, all of them, they didn't do anything". One of the bigger men was holding a knife to Carl's throat ready to do as he pleased.

Joe leaned down towards Rick "You know, you're right, it is your fault Look we can settle this, we're reasonable men. First we're gonna beat Daryl to death, then we'll have the girls, then the boy, then I'm gonna shoot you and we'll be square" his laughter filled the air.

Tears began to form in your eyes as you observed Daryl getting thrown around like a rag doll. ' _Just let this all end, please, let it end_ ' you didn't know who you were pleading to but as you watched Daryl slowly die the thought grew more intense within your mind.

Daryl couldn't think straight as the three men beat him with no remorse, all he could think about was the pain and his failure as he curled up trying to survive long enough for any chance he could get to do something.

The next set of events went past in a blur but the memories would stick with everyone forever, as the large man prepared to rape Carl Rick head butted Joe resulting in a bloodthirsty fight between the two. Carl's cries echoed into the night air as he tried to fight his attacker, he reached for the hunting knife you had lent him earlier struggling to throw the older man off him. Michonne tried to knock her assailant's gun away and you managed to swing a wonky left hook at the man behind you causing him to stumble back a few steps.

Everyone heard Joe drop to the floor and turned to see that Rick had tore his throat out with his teeth, within seconds Michonne used the opportunity and managed to shoot her attacker; the fight continued. The rest of the fight lasted mere minutes and everyone crashed through the rest of the night out of pure exhaustion with the exception of Michonne and you who took turns standing guard for any other threats. You had patched Daryl up before letting him rest but he was in no way able to talk and the fear of what he might say kept you from asking.

You watched him as he slept worried that if you took you eyes of him he might stop breathing, as illogical as it was ' _How did you get mixed up with them? How did this all happen? Will we ever be safe again? Whatever this Terminus place is, it has got to be better than this shitstorm tonight… unless everyone there is dead too, or worse. Fear the living and kill the dead, is that how it is now?_ ' the bitter thoughts drove on ' _Well whatever shit we went through and whatever is to come, I'll find out where you've been, tomorrow_ '.


	6. Safe Keeping

A/N – Hi guys, sorry this took so long, it's been a busy month and I had to buy a new laptop which I just got today because my old one decided to self-destruct. Anyway here is the new chapter which I'd like to dedicate to Abbiemination for reviewing each chapter since the start, so thank you and I hope you enjoy this.

* * *

You awoke to a grim morning laced heavily with fear and regret; Michonne and Carl were sat near you watching Rick and Daryl converse against the car. Rick had not washed the blood away from the previous nights' battle, while the bruises and lacerations on Daryl contrasted immensely with his light skin. Daryl handed Rick a cloth which he accepted gratefully.

Carl laid still in Michonne's arms while she stroked his hair in a comforting motherly way, the three of you sat in silence listening to the conversation with the knowledge that they both direly needed it.

After the conversation the atmosphere felt a little better but there was still a slight tension in the air. Daryl got up, wincing slightly at the dull ache in his stomach, and made his way towards you.

"Come on Carl; let's see if we can find anything useful around here" Michonne suggested allowing you and Daryl some privacy.

You gave her an appreciating nod coupled with an uneven smile, she walked away with Carl and Rick in tow; you got up and met Daryl halfway awkwardly.

"Hey uh-" "I just-" you both started at the same time.

"You first" you chipped in picking at your nails with a nervous apprehension.

Daryl cleared his throat, "Those guys… I was just traveling with 'em, I didn't know what they were like; I didn't know they'd hurt you… I thought they'd honour their code. I should've known they were no good… pieces of shit like them aren't good for nothin'. (Y/N) I don't expect forgiveness, hell I don't deserve it but I need to know something, did they… did they hurt you?"

His glassy eyes rested on you, his brows furrowed, like he was searching for any sign of pain within you.

"Who cares about me?" you yelled, throwing your arms wide, "What about you? You think I can't forgive you? That we all can't forgive you? You did your best to save us, and you paid the price. When I was watching them hurt you last night, I have never felt so helpless in my entire life and if I could've swapped places with you, I would've done it in a heartbeat. Daryl I don't care when or how you got with those monsters, I just care that your all right" your movements had become more erratic and your eyes were glassy with unshed tears. "Ever since we got split up at the prison I've tried to act like everything was going to be ok, but with each passing day I have had more and more stripped from me and I had to get used to the idea that nothing's ok anymore. Hershel's dead, we have no idea where anyone is, Judith's missing, I lost you; for the first time since this shit-storm began I lost the one thing that I thought I could never lose. I'd lost hope Daryl, the only part left of me and I lost it".

You stood shivering unable to breath steadily as the unshed tears built up over weeks of emotional pain finally poured out hot and fast. Daryl came in quick hugging you tightly, he lifted his hand awkwardly and began stroking your hair as an attempt at a comforting gesture.

"You didn't lose hope (Y/N), you just left it with me for safe keeping" he whispered thickly kissing the top of your head. "No matter what happens, if we're together or apart we'll kick ass and survive 'cos that's just what we do, we're the best in the business; now, where's that stupid smile you always have?" he asked tipping your chin up to face him. The corners of your mouth turned up slightly into a wavering smile, Daryl reciprocated with a small one of his own.

Rick, Carl, and Michonne stood behind the treeline watching the interaction, all three savouring the temporary peace after the chaos of the previous night.

"I'm glad they seem to be doing better" Carl marvelled.

"Yeah" Michonne smiled in agreement.

"Well I think we've given them enough time" Rick added stepping out from the treeline. Upon seeing them you and Daryl broke from the hug, "All right, now that we're together again" Rick gestured to Daryl "I vote that we keep heading towards Terminus, we see if it's safe, if it's what it appears to be, if not we cut our losses and move on; anyone got anything to say on that?"

"Sounds like an alright plan but when we get there we should do a night's recon before deciding anything, it'll give us a chance to see what Terminus is like and check its defences" Daryl responded, stepping back up to his place as second in command.

"We also hide some of our weapons outside Terminus in case things don't go according to pan and we need to escape" Michonne added.

"Alright, and I think we should have a signal if one of us sees something iffy" you spoke up.

"Ok. Any suggestions to what that could be?" Rick asked doubtfully.

"What about saying something like "We're out of water", they'll think we're taking stock but we know that's our signal to be more aware" Carl responded quickly.

The five of you looked around at each other nodding slightly in acceptance of the plan. "Alright then, we're off to Terminus" Rick stated and headed on with the group walking by his side.


	7. Supporting Words and Delicate Moments

A/N – Sorry this one took so long, work really tired me out lately but no worries I was off today and ill with the flu so that left a tonne of time to catch up. I'll be honest Terminus isn't my favourite story line so I hope this is ok but I do have big plans for Alexandria and I hope this story makes it that far. Anywho I leave this in your hands and as usual enjoy.

* * *

The tracks to Terminus were covered in crisp Autumn leaves and the air had a slight chill to it but it was barely noticeable to the group as they headed down the tracks. Rick and Michonne led, you and Carl were in the middle and Daryl kept an eye out at the back of the group.

Carl looked over to you "Hey um- you probably want this back" he held out your hunting knife from earlier "Thanks… for letting me use it".

You glanced at the younger boy and reached out before deciding against it and withdrawing your hand "You know what, keep it, you'll probably get good use out of it".

"Whoa, really?" he asked, unable to keep the excitement out of his voice.

"Yeah. You know I got that knife when this whole thing started from an old guy, he'd been bit and he told me to take it and to make sure that when the time came do something good for something else. I suppose it's the whole rule of one good turn deserves another, so yeah it's yours, just make sure to do a good deed along the way noble sir".

He let out a small laugh "Thanks, and I will."

"Besides I meant it when I said I don't need it any-more, 'cos I have this Bad Boy" you swung up your axe giving it a fancy twirl.

Daryl walked on listening to the conversation from behind, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips " _And (s)he chose me, either (s)he's stupid or I'm lucky, probably both_ " he thought contently.

The sun remained high overhead when the group reached an old worn down sign for Terminus in the middle of the tracks.

"We'll be getting close; we'll be there before sundown" Daryl stated.

"Now we head through the woods, we don't know who they are" Rick added.

"Alright" Daryl agreed, leading on into the surrounding woodland.

* * *

Terminus loomed over the group like a forbidden promise as they hung back behind the fence. " _It's like a final challenge_ " you thought " _We pass through this and we have a home again… if all goes well that is. If they have any sense then they'll be like Rick, Mr. Answer me these riddles three._ "

Rick turned and addressed the group "We all spread out, watch for a while, see what we see and get ready. We all stay close." He looked over to Carl with a hopeful half smile "Do you wanna stick with me?"

Carl turned away dejectedly "Sorry."

There was an audible sadness in Rick's voice "Alright… then everyone pair off and meet back here when your done."

Michonne and Carl left in one direction while you went with Daryl in the opposite; Rick stayed behind to bury the weapons.

* * *

While walking along the chain-link fence you couldn't stop thinking about the scene between Rick and Carl with an undeniable sadness weighing upon you.

"Hey… do you think that they're going to be ok?" you asked Daryl

"They'll be fine" was the curt response.

"How can you be so sure?"

"Just am."

"I hope you're right, Rick loves him so much, I just hope Carl sees that and understands why Rick did what he did. What about you?"

"Hmm?"

"Sorry, I mean what were you like with Merle? I only met him briefly in the prison and we didn't really talk, what were you two like together?"

"Doesn't matter anymore."

"Of course it does."

"Why?" the question was loud.

"Well because… because… we need to hold those we lost in our memories, so we can learn from them and mirror their best traits" you answered after thinking about it.

Daryl sighed loudly ' _So many damn questions, just has to know everything_ ' he thought, pondering the question at hand.

"He was ok, fought me when I needed it, helped me when I needed it; that's all" Daryl stopped to check the ground for any clues about the surrounding area.

You nodded content with the answer and examined the perimeter for any guards or vulnerable spots; the silence was a comfortable one rich with understanding.

"They don't come out much, any tracks here are old" he commented, breaking the silence.

"There aren't any weak spots that I can see, they have a few guard posts up there" you pointed high up "but they won't see us in this cover, I imagine they have patrols on the lower levels to check the lower areas; if not they really should" you reported back.

"So we should go back to Rick now?" you looked back at the taller man, your man.

"In a minute, there's something I wanted to say".

You turned to face Daryl, when you didn't say anything he continued "Just earlier, on the tracks, it was…" he stopped to search for the appropriate term "nice of you… the thing you said to Carl; he needed it".

A bright smile reached your face "Thanks Daryl, I… I needed that".

"Yeah well, you know" he cupped your face gently, the rough of his hand warming your face.

Daryl bent down slightly, placing a light kiss on your lips as if you might break or disappear completely. You leaned into the kiss deepening it, the sensation felt perfect and much needed and the two of you stayed like that in the peace and quiet until you pulled away for breath.

"Can I look forward to more moments like that soon?" you grinned cheekily.

"Only when I'm sure you're safer, 'sides we can't keep Rick waiting" he smiled, apparently back to normal.

' _Maybe this world isn't so bad after all_ ' you thought happily as the pair of you walked back to Rick ' _Now we've just got to pull this off, one way or another_ '.


	8. Escape Isn't Easy

A/N – Sorry this is once again late, a family member was in hospital but everything should be ok now and I hope that updates can be more regular.

* * *

The train cart was devoid of speech, the only sounds coming from the tools that everyone had begun crafting from any objects present in order to escape. Terminus had seemed like the paradise everyone had been searching for until Rick had discovered Glenn's pocket watch among other items, which led to the group being trapped in the darkness of the train cart. " _I've seen everything now, a group of renegade cannibals though, gotta admit that one's a winner_ " you thought, surprisingly calm about the situation. You sat smiling, happy for the cover of darkness " _God if they caught me smiling right now, it's just too funny though, I don't know why but cannibals, just… Really? Cannibals? Lord I know it's not funny but good grief, the irony_ ".

Although the situation seemed dire there was a certain comfort about having Glenn and Maggie back as well as the unusual group they had travelled with.

"So how do we decide?" you queried, breaking the silence of the crowded train cart.

"Decide what?" Abraham responded automatically in his deep, commanding voice.

"Who gets first kill, I'm ready to rip into those trashy sons-a-bitches" you growled back as you examined the belt buckle that you were sharpening.

Abe took a well-meaning step toward you, everyone's attention now on the two of you, Daryl watching on with a mix of respect, worry, and tense possessiveness "Look sweet-heart, I think it's best that we just leave it up to the strongest, I'm the clear choice on pure muscle but there are a few other clear winners; face it, you're just not built as strong, happens to the best of us."

There was an audible gasp behind you from Glenn and a muttered "Oh no" from Carl; You stepped closer to Abraham, keeping your gaze fixed on him, despite the height difference. "You know, you're right, I'm not as strong as you. It's a shame really, I'd love to be that strong but you know what?" you made one quick, fluid movement, toppling Abraham to the floor, "Strength isn't everything" you smiled, offering your hand to help him back up.

"Well, well, congratulations, I saw some moves during time served but you really got something going there. Looks like you and me gonna have to learn some moves from each-other" Abraham stated as he took your offered hand.

"Are you two serious?" Rick interjected, a strong urgency in his voice "We are trapped in a train car for a group of cannibals and the two of you think you have time to screw around like children making pot shots. We ALL get back to work now and when Terminus comes to attack, we'll be prepared".

There was a general hush over the group and a few mumbled apologies as the work began again; Daryl got down to the floor, picking at the nails within the wood, trying to make them come loose. " _Where does she get the energy? Whatever, it just means that she can kick his ass and call it training without me getting' in the way_ " Daryl thought to himself; like everyone else the situation had made him tired and irritable.

Whilst working through the days and nights in the train car with only a little rest in-between the group were starting to look prepared to fight their way out of Terminus with what little they had. Although there was now a slither of hope for escape each member of the group had their doubts of how their crafted weapons would fare against the armed guards outside, however the fear of the inevitable went unspoken as they continued their work for they all knew that if they voiced their opinions then they would have nothing to live or aim for; the thought that they should die trying to live rather than live entirely to die seemed to be widespread across them all as they continued to work.

* * *

The sounds of explosions were all around as smoke and gunfire filled the air, Rick threw open the container leading the group through a walker infested courtyard "EVERYONE OUT NOW" he screamed, shooting walkers as he ran.

The battle to escape Terminus was intense, it felt like time had been both slowed down and sped up at the same time, the crafted weapons were proving their worth as everyone battled their way through the distraction, you looked around at the massacre trying to take everything in; while most of the group were spaced out to cover more ground and disperse the Walkers, Abraham was keeping Eugene close, desperate to protect the worlds saviour at all costs.

You made your way over to Rick, your weapon of choice being a knuckle duster made from a belt buckle with rusted nails attached, "RICK, WHAT CAUSED ALL THIS?" you yelled through the confusion.

"WE'LL FIND OUT LATER, JUST ESCAPE NOW" he shouted back.

"WHERE'S DARYL?"

"DON'T KNOW BUT HE CAN HANDLE HIMSELF".

While you had no doubt that Rick was right the thought of not knowing where Daryl was made your stomach twist in sickening knots as you cleared through more Walkers. More Walkers were approaching by the second and you ran to clear one blocking the way to the fence, as your fist connected with the Walker's head the improvised knuckle duster got stuck deep in the skin dragging you down with the corpse, you struggled hard trying to get free very aware of the surrounding Walkers getting closer when both Daryl and Maggie came to your aid, keeping Walkers off you until you were free.

As soon as everyone was gathered at the fence everyone began climbing over, the remaining ones providing cover fire until able to cross.

* * *

The newly formed group made their way around the boarder of Terminus following Rick and Daryl, "What the hell are we still around here for?" Abraham queried irritably.

"Guns, some supplies, go around the fences, use the rifles, take out the rest of them" Rick answered as he began to dig up the previously hidden supplies.

"What?" Bob's voice was heavy with disbelief.

"They don't get to live" Rick replied.

"Rick… you can't be serious, we just escaped, there's no point going back and wasting ammo for something as stupid as a revenge kill" you spoke up.

Maggie joined your side, lending support with her presence "Their fences are down, they'll run or die".

The group murmured in agreement. Rick looked to Daryl for support but he just looked away in silence before moving his attention to the form coming up behind Rick; everyone turned, their attention on Carol, it didn't take long for Daryl to run up engulfing her in a warm hug, the rest of the original group following in a mix of excitement and uncertainty. The remainder of the day got even better as Carol led the group to Judith and her gentle guardian Tyreese.

* * *

The moon shone bright fighting to break through the clouds as you sat with Daryl at the edge of the camp, everyone was talking eager to find out where Carol had been, what had been going on, and who the new members were.

"I was so worried about you… you know, when they took you" you spoke quietly leaning against Daryl's strong form. "Daryl I need to know… when they took you all from the train, what did they do to you?" you implored.

He looked down at you gently "Nothin', all they did was question us is all, trying to find where we hid the duffel" he lied, remaining bare faced throughout. " _You ain't never gonna find out, you don't need to know how close we all came to the end…_ " he thought protectively, desiring to keep your mind at peace.

You searched his face for any trace of a lie, when you could see none you settled, snuggling into him.

"OK, as long as you promise that's the truth, then I believe you. I'm glad Carol is back, I missed her."

Daryl wrapped his arm around you "Me too, and she brought lil' ass kicker with her."

You smiled glancing over at Rick and Carl who were playing Peek-a-Boo with Judith " _Moments like these make it all worth it… sort of._ " The thought left you content as you finally drifted off to a much needed sleep.


	9. Small Warnings During Peace

A/N – Well, well kiddywinks. I'm finally back after an overly long break so I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Also I had to look it up but Serg is how you spell the abbreviation for Sergeant.

* * *

You were woken up by a gentle shake from Carl, who was wearing a look of concern as if you would attack him with as much ferocity as a raging grizzly bear; the entire group knew that you were not a morning person since your first days in the prison but they had slowly become accustomed to taking on the deadly task of waking you up. You opened your eyes groggily, fighting through the sleep that had all but glued them shut over the prior night; you looked up to the sky noting that it was still dark " _Fuck… changing of the guard, rat bastards waking me up_ " your mind supplied, clearly annoyed to be woken from what was a good night's sleep. Michonne peeked over Carl's shoulder at you as she woke Carol.

"I'm glad I pulled the long straw his time" Michonne mumbled, her amusement shining through.

"Ok Carl, I'm up, you can sleep, I won't destroy you… this time" you yawned as you carefully disentangled yourself from Daryl's vice-like grip.

The night went on much as it had before, with the group sleeping like the dead and no disturbances from the actual dead. Whilst on guard you noticed Carol kept staring your way, when in the prison the two of you had been something of an odd pair, more than acquaintances but less than friends; the thought lingered on your mind as you wondered whether you could have been friends had she stayed longer.

"Something wrong?" you inquired casually, keeping your voice low so as not to wake anybody.

"You surprise me" Carol replied mirroring your tone "Out of all the group that know me you're the only one that hasn't been the least bit curious as to where I was".

"Then you misunderstand me, I am curious. Believe me, I'd be first in line asking if I thought it would get me anywhere but I figure that I'll hear it if it's important or you'll tell me in your own time when you're ready. And if you don't want to tell me then that's fine too, that's your business".

A smirk made its way to Carol's lips at that "That's a healthy view to hold".

"No, that's the best way to earn trust, know when to pry and know when to let people open up on their own".

There was a pregnant pause in the conversation before Carol spoke up again "You're good for him", she motioned to Daryl.

It was a statement but you nodded anyway "And he's good for me."

"You don't get it. It's more than wanting each-other, Daryl needs you, like the group you give him a purpose, something to protect, except unlike the group your protection is solely dependent on him".

"While I appreciate the sentiment in that-"

"That wasn't sentiment" she interrupted "It was fact".

"Well while I appreciate it" you continued "My protection isn't solely dependent on Daryl".

"You may know that but does he? He'd do anything to protect you, or any of this group for that matter. I like you, I respect what you've given Daryl but I'm warning you, **don't** take Daryl's purpose away" with that Carol turned away leaving you with a cold feeling in the pit of your stomach.

* * *

As the sky started changing from a dark black to a light yellow you and Carol decided to wake the rest of the group up for the day of travel ahead. You looked over to Daryl's slumbering form as you woke both Maggie and Glenn, his arm was still outstretched as if he were leaving a place for you to stay even in sleep.

"Hey Glenn, want to do something fun" you whispered, your eyes glinting mischievously.

"What are you thinking?" he asked warily.

You whispered your plan in his ear and he held back a snort of laughter.

"While that would be fun, I'm going to have to say no, mainly because I want to live to see tomorrow".

"Aww come on Glenn, It'll be great".

Glenn gave you a sceptic look to which you responded "Look if you do this I'll… I'll give you and Maggie first pick of anything I loot on my next raid".

"Alright I'll do it, but if I die I'm coming back to haunt you" he answered.

The entire group, with the exception of Daryl, was awake now and had caught on that you were planning a prank, all eyes were on Glenn as he creeped over to Daryl. Glenn looked back over to all the camp members who were watching with anticipation and you nodded motioning for him to carry on. Glenn nodded back and took your position in Daryl's arms, taking extra care not to wake the bigger man as he snuggled in.

"Sweetie" Glenn put on his most feminine voice while the group held in fits of laughter.

There was a small grumble from Daryl in reply.

"Sweetie it's time to wake up" Glenn continued.

"Ok, babe".

Daryl opened his eyes slowly, a smile playing at his lips, he turned his head to Glenn their foreheads touching in the process and the smile was immediately wiped off his face, replaced instead with an expression of pure shock and horror. Glenn was thrown to the side as Daryl backed as far as he could in the short crawl-space he had, that was enough to set the whole group into a fit of laughter, even Glenn who was brushing himself off.

"OK, who's idea was that?" Daryl demanded, no-one could tell whether it was real anger or mock anger that laced his voice.

Through their laughter the group turned towards you.

"Should've known" Daryl grumbled.

You looked around the group "Traitors".

"(Y/N) you should know that I don't get mad I get even" there was a definite trace of laughter in his voice now.

You waggled your eyebrows suggestively "Promises, promises".

* * *

As the group travelled away from the wreck that was formally Terminus the only thing filling the silent void in your mind was Canned Heat's 'On The Road Again' which you hummed idly as you walked along the dirt track.

You observed the group making note of what each member was doing, Glenn and Maggie remained close to one-another as usual, Rick led the group with Carl and Michonne close behind, Daryl was in avid conversation with Carol, Tyreese, Sasha and Bob were becoming more acquainted with Tara, and Eugene was stating the advantages of female body armour in video games to a bored looking Rosita; that left you and Abraham flanking the back.

"So, (Y/N)" Abraham's deep voice sounded as he kept pace with you "You really with Daryl?" The question was innocent enough.

"You know it, why?"

"Just making conversation".

"Fair enough. You been with Rosita long?"

"Since this shit-storm began" there was a momentary pause as if Abraham was debating something in his head, finally one side won out and he spoke up again "You know, he seems awful close to that there Carol woman".

"Yeah, he is" you smiled in reply "They've been through a lot together and I respect the relationship they have, they've known each-other since the start and I guess you see enough stuff with someone and it brings you closer, you know?".

"It sure does, but don't you want to know what they're talking about?"

"Nah, Carol's been gone for a while and they need this, he needs this".

"It seems you're both smart and level headed in and out of the battlefield, it's gonna be interesting to know you soldier" with that Abraham stuck out his hand.

"Pleasure to serve Serg" you shook his hand keeping up the act.

* * *

A/N – I'd love it if you'd do me a favour and either comment or PM me with what you want more of like fluff, smut, comedy, fights, whatever you want and based on what I get (if anything) I'll try to add it in, this fanfic is for you guys and I'd love your opinions. I am now going to be away for four days and I won't have internet connection but I will still be writing so you can still expect a new chapter in a week.


	10. A Lamb Among Lions

A/N - This chapter was so long that I thought I'd save you all some trouble and split it into two parts... it was coming round to 3000 words and it still isn't done. I'm going to try and have the second part up tomorrow so as always I hope you enjoy ^_^

* * *

"HELP, ANYBODY HELP" A man's terrified screams rang out into the open air stopping the group dead in their tracks.

Carl shifted his gaze to Rick "Dad come on" he pleaded.

Rick held his stance against Carl's pleading eyes "Come on" he repeated, that was enough to shift the group into action, all running to aid the frantic stranger. The group ran into a small clearing where the screaming man had climbed onto a boulder surrounded by four walkers. " _Wait, is that a… priest?_ " The question left you dumbstruck while Rick, Carol, Michonne, and Daryl dispatched the walkers around him with great ease.

The priest looked down on the group with a curious mixture of gratitude and uncertainty before Rick spoke up "Come on down".

The priest complied to Rock's request and stood before the group who were analysing the strange sight with equal uncertainty. "You ok?" Rick asked.

The shock and timing of everything was enough to make the priest throw up as the group watched awkwardly " _Christ on a bike, he looks like a bloody lamb being led to the slaughter_ " you thought pitifully.

The priest finally came up gasping "Sorry. Yes. Thank you. I'm Gabriel".

"Do you have any weapons on you?" Rick jumped in getting through the formalities and straight into business mode.

"Do I look like I would have any weapons?" Gabriel responded innocently.

"We don't give two short and curlies what it looks like" Abraham testified.

"I have no weapons of any kind, the word of God is the only protection I need".

"Sure didn't look like it" Daryl's gravelly voice sounded off; you gave him a light nudge in the ribs to back off which earned you a distasteful glance back.

Gabriel smiled wide, a nervous smile but one that showed his eagerness to prove his and therefore God's cause "I called for help, help came".

"Uh…" Gabriel looked embarrassed as he contemplated whether to say what was on his mind, "Do you have any food? Whatever I… I had left, it's just hit the ground".

This time it was Carl's turn to come forward "We've got some pecans" he held his hand out offering them.

You came forward next "I have some water; it's been filtered so it's ok to drink".

Gabriel accepted both eagerly, with a gracious "Thank you". It was then that Gabriel noticed Judith "That's a beautiful child.", with that one small sentence meant as a compliment the group went into a silent defensive mode, stern gazes everywhere as Tyreese clung onto Judith tighter.

The silence which encased the group felt like an eternity and soon became unbearable to you "Awkward" you mumbled, this time it was Daryl's turn to nudge you, something that you were glad for.

"Do you have a camp?" Gabriel enquired.

"No. Do you?" Rick was harsh and fast with his reply, ready to lead his group from any wrongdoing or dangerous situation that could arise from the present situation.

"…I have a church."

"Hold your hands above your head." Gabriel complied apprehensively. Rick began manhandling him searching for any concealed weapons whilst he asked his three questions.

" _My word, this man hasn't killed any walkers or any people, and all because of God's will… No one can be this spotless, how the bloody hell have you survived this long with no weapons, no one to help you, and your general attitude to life?_ " your mind queried after hearing his answers.

"You said you had a church." Michonne stated.

* * *

You looked around the quiet church amazed that it had remained untouched by all the madness like a shimmering oasis amidst the dunes of a desert. Maggie was sat on the front pew staring up at the large metal crucifix that hung on the wall; you observed her thoughtfully, taking particular interest in her expression, she looked awed, confused, sad, and yet happy all within the same expression, showing the full complexities of human emotion.

"Mind if I take a seat?" you asked waiting for an invitation before sitting next to her. "Thanks" you continued "You looked… well you looked like you needed to talk, everything ok?"

"Yeah… No… I mean… I don't know." Maggie responded dejectedly.

"Want to talk about it?"

Maggie sighed "It's just that I haven't set foot in a church since this all started, and you met my dad… I just wish he was here to see this".

Maggie sat hunched over and you sensed that while she wasn't lying she was still omitting the whole truth " _It's about Beth_ " you realised " _You're wondering whether she's still alive_ "; you kept the thought to yourself careful not to probe too much and instead followed a different route "Well you know, by the whole rules of God and heaven and all that jazz Hershel never left, he's always going to be with you Maggie; watching, guiding, and loving you. So you know if you want to send up a silent prayer or even a loud one, go ahead, no-one's judging you. Then when you're done you have a loving husband who hasn't seen you in a long time and I'm sure you've both got some stories to tell" You gave a comforting rub on her shoulder and got up to leave.

"(Y/N)" you turned around to face Maggie again "Thank you, I needed that".

You gave a small nod in response and walked away in search of something else to do.

"(Y/N)" Tara beckoned you over "I found this phonebook and I think we can use it to find places nearby to scavenge, what do you think?" She looked tense about the suggestion

"Great idea Tara, I'll see who's going with Rick, who's staying here, and from there the remainder of us can go nearby on raids".

At your answer Tara visibly relaxed, clearly glad that she had found friendship among prior enemies.

You waited to approach Rick who was sat talking to Carl, lecturing him about safety and protection. The conversation between you and him was short lived with the decision being made that he, Bob, Sasha, and Gabriel would form the team that went to the location Gabriel spoke about, Daryl and Carol would search for nearby water, Tyreese, Carl and Judith would stay in the church, and you would go with Glenn Maggie, and Tara to search elsewhere for ammunition and anything else useful.

* * *

"OK, so there are two towns that are both about 20 minutes from here in opposite directions" Glenn stated as he checked the map against the phonebook.

"Great, then we split up into two groups and check both towns" you added.

"I don't think we should split up again".

"Look around Glenn, we've already split up, Rick's groups already left. Plus, we can cover more ground and get more supplies with two teams".

"(Y/N), we don't know these towns and Gabriel isn't here to provide background information on them, we'd be safer in a larger group" Maggie stated.

"I get your opinion but we're all experienced scouts here, we've done this before, and I think we need to find all we can get; besides what it one town has nothing, we at least need to try".

The three looked at you sceptically "Ok fine, Tara what do you think?" you huffed, annoyed.

"Wha… Uh I think… I think that Maggie and Glenn are right" she answered awkwardly.

"Wait… what if we all get what we want?" You piped up as you thought of another solution.

"You have something in mind?" Glenn questioned.

"Well this place is pretty isolated, no one's been here since the start so it's likely that no one will invade it or anything. The combined power of Tyreese, Carl, Abraham, and Rosita seems a bit much, plus Eugene only needs one bodyguard tops with this kind of security".

"Your point?"

"My point is that either Abraham or Rosita could come with me, then we could search both towns and no one has to worry; what do you think?"

The three looked at each-other like a small counsel communicating only through subtle movements before Glenn finally looked back over and gave one final decisive nod.

"Great, ok, you guys set off and I'll ask Abe, if he says no I'll catch up and meet you on the road".

"You know we can wait" Maggie confirmed.

"No, we've already wasted enough time, we're burning light, go ahead, if I need to I'll catch up".

* * *

DARYL POV

Daryl watched you as you approached Abraham with your request; he had deliberately put off going to get the water with Carol till he knew where you were going and who with, eager to see you safe. Carol lingered nearby, she refused to rush him, knowing how important your safety was to him; together they stood by and waited to hear what Abraham had to say similar to the way a court waits for the judges' verdict.

YOUR POV

"Oh come on Abe, at least think about it" you pleaded.

"Nope".

"Why not?" you almost whined.

"Look Tiny Tim, Eugene is the miracle-grow cure and he can't be unguarded for even a second." He motioned to Eugene who was standing stock still next to the church entrance and watching the exchange with his usual stoic expression.

"He won't be unguarded, he'll always have someone and this church is the safest place we've had… At least lend me Rosita".

"No can do".

"Why not?"

"Well let's say that a horde managed to find its way here or some raiders, we'd need all hands on deck".

"Ok first off, the chances of that happening are slim, and secondly what difference is one person going to make in surviving a horde?" you knew the answer to that argument, one person could make a world of difference, especially when that person was someone as well trained as Rosita.

"Sorry sugar but it's a no can do".

"Ugh… fine, I'll go get my pack and meet with Glenn and the others" you trudged into the church unhappy with the outcome.

* * *

While inside the church you didn't notice Daryl coming over to meet you until you saw a shadow looming over you.

Without turning around, you started talking "Ok great Abe, you finally come to your senses-" the words died in your mouth as Daryl came around to face you.

"Oh Daryl, sorry about that, hey shouldn't you be out with Carol getting water?".

"We're going. I just wanted to see that you're ok about staying here." Daryl's gravelly voice was steady and low.

"What? Oh no, no, no. You've misunderstood, I'm heading off now to rendezvous with Glenn, Maggie and Tara" you explained.

"(Y/N), they left 15 minutes ago, it'd be stupid to go now, we don't know these roads and I don't want you out there alone."

"Daryl I'll be fine, I can catch up and I'm a big girl believe it or not, so I'll see you when I get back".

You brushed past Daryl ready to leave but were pulled back by his vice-like grip on your wrist.

"Uh, what are you doing?" you asked, slightly annoyed that the conversation wasn't over.

"You're not going".

"So what? You're forbidding me now, is that it?" your tone was mocking.

"Yes" Daryl's answer was sharp and curt, it held none of the mocking of your question.

"Oh my God, you're serious. Daryl you can't forbid me from leaving" the tone of your voice had risen dramatically so it was barely below a shout.

"Look you're staying here and that's final, now I'm leaving with Carol and I'll see you when I get back."

You stood stock still in the middle of the church too shocked to argue or move and Daryl took that as consent to leave freely; you were still stood in the same position for a while after he left, you weren't sure how long it was 5 minutes – 10 perhaps, what you did know was the silent fury that was bubbling up inside you. Finally, the anger became too much and you yelled "HE FORBID ME".

Carl and Tyreese looked over with a fearful gaze and you heard a small guffaw from Abraham outside. "NO. THAT'S IT. I'M GOING" you picked up your hatchet and moved for the exit of the church.

"(Y/N) wait" Carl rushed over "I know you're mad but Daryl has a point, the others left ages ago, you won't catch up to them till they're on their way back" he was now trying to keep pace with you as you headed for the church exit.

"Well that's not going to be a problem Carl because I'm going to the OTHER town. GOODBYE." Before Carl even had a chance to argue you had slammed through the churches' double doors and were on your way to the, hopefully abandoned, town.


	11. A Big Mistake

A/N - As promised here's the second half of the previous chapter, this time with a lot more angst so enjoy that. Well imma go take a year long nap now and play some video games, later taters.

* * *

" _He forbid me… Who does that? I can't believe he forbid me, Jesus, I mean, did he forget that I was alone before I met this group? I don't think so. This is supposed to be a relationship, not a dictatorship. Well that's it Daryl cos' I'm here now, on the outskirts of this town, alone, how do you like them apples?_ " Your mind chuntered angrily as you observed your surroundings.

" _Ok you know what, forget him for now, it's time for business mode._ "

The shops looked completely destroyed from the outside, each place had definitely been raided, several times by the battered doors and windows. There was only one lone walker lingering in the middle of the town, it had a small build and a swaggering gait which made you all the more confident about taking it down or sneaking past it, should the need arise.

You saw a small street-sign which stood tall next to the walker: Walmart – 1 Mile.

" _Great, if I can get to the Walmart there could be a tonne of shit that people were too afraid to take, right that's it then. But there's also a Baby-Gro right there and it's getting pretty late in the day…_ " you thought through the two options, determined to do both if you could but prioritising one on the off chance that you wouldn't have time. " _The others are after supplies and Judith comes first, Baby-Gro it is_ ".

You ran to the shop taking out the lone-walker on the way with a quick hit to the back of its knees with the hatchet and a strong chop t its head.

The shop was small with only two isles but at the back of it there was a set of stairs, which presumably led to an apartment and a boarded up room, there was nothing of use in the isles so you decided to head up the stairs trying desperately not to make them creak. Your prior guess had been correct, it was indeed an apartment at the top of the stairs, the room on your left held a ransacked bathroom, the middle room held an adult bedroom with a crib in it, and the final room was shut and bolted from the inside.

You kicked the door lightly, trying to draw any walker out that may have resided there, when nothing happened you kicked harder, and a dead ended shuffle paired with the gasps of the dead resounded in the air "Alrighty then, never a dull moment when dancing with the dead" you whispered.

The moans had become louder and there was now a desperate clawing at the door, you steeled yourself ready for your next move and crashed all your weight against the door; the move didn't do much other than make your shoulder hurt "Fuck… Who ever said "They don't build them like they used to" was a lying asshole".

"Alright, fine then, plan B" you raised your hatchet and swung hard against the door handle, sure enough it came off and the lock with it on the other side, you kicked the door open; two walkers on the other side fell back with the weight of it, two males, one large, the other lean and skinny.

You swung your hatchet hard into the large one's skull before it had the time to recover, the other one was attempting to get back up and would soon be walking again, the problem with that being that your hatchet remained firmly trapped within the skull of the first walker.

"Oh come on, this is no time to be playing fucking Excalibur".

The walker had recovered and was ambling towards you, arms outstretched. You abandoned the hatchet, deciding instead to knock it over, you ploughed into it using all your weight against it, much to your success the walker toppled clumsily over. Instinctively your hand reached for your belt where your hunting knife usually stayed before the realisation hit that Carl had the knife now, a quick scan of the room revealed no other effective objects " _Old fashioned way it is then_ " you raised your leg high and brought it down on the walkers' skull, you had to do this several times before the skull finally cracked and the brain was completely destroyed.

"There better be something worth it for this" you panted as you tried to quell the sickly feeling in your stomach.

* * *

You stood outside the lone Walmart a little dejectedly " _Huh… For some reason I thought it'd be… bigger. Well it's only a small town so I don't know what I was expecting, a mansion perhaps?_ "

The pack you wore wasn't even half full though you did feel a little better that your trip to Baby-Gro provided half a pack of nappies, seven tubs of baby food, and one tub of baby formula.

Several walkers were walking past the doors inside the building and if you looked carefully you could see more in the back "Fuck… looks like this one's going to be stealth mode" you whispered, wishing the whole tie that there was a lone walker around so you could mask your scent with the entrails.

" _Alright, I've just gotta think about this…_ " To the left side of the building there stood two dumpsters which made for easy access to the flat roof of the building, from there it wouldn't be a far stretch to the buildings air ducts; there was also the back door that you hadn't yet checked.

" _Great so if I check the back door and don't like my odds then I can go in through the vents and see how it looks from there, plus if it's too overrun then I can leave the way I entered._ "

You made your way the back of the building, hunched over to avoid the dead stare of any stray walkers, only to find that your first guess had been an educated one, just like the front a few stray walkers were milling aimlessly around, not many in retrospect but enough to make it a dangerous fight with only a hatchet to defend yourself " _Note to self, get a new bloody hunting knife_ " the thought left you bitter and annoyed.

* * *

You soon discovered that army-crawling through dusty vents without making a sound was not as easy as it was made to seem by great heroes like James Bond and Indiana Jones; The views of the isles below, however, seemed to be a good payoff for the hard work.

After passing several isles you could see there wasn't much worth having and the shop floor held many walkers though they were all a fair distance apart from one another. You changed routes in the vent, taking a left this time and looked down into a small, separate room "Jackpot" you whispered; the room you currently hovered over was a storage compartment which held no walkers and the shelves appeared to be moderately stocked from what you could see in your limited space.

The room was easy enough to jump down into after removing the grate above it, upon entering it was easy enough to see that there were more items then you could have hoped for, medicine bottles lined the walls, followed by bandages, antiseptic wipes, fruit bars, and more small tubs of baby food. You stuffed your backpack with everything it would fit, which still left a lot to be desired, and decided to get out while you still had the chance. You looked around for something to climb to get back into the vent but were perplexed to find nothing available, the bookshelves proved too heavy to move and they were too far away from the vent to make a jump; elsewhere the room was bare.

"Ok then… door and dash it is." A small look through the keyhole revealed no walkers nearby in your limited field of vision and you steeled yourself ready to pelt through the shop to the front doors, your hatchet in hand to clear the few at the front. The plan was clear in your mind but before it had even begun it was doomed to fail by the one thing you hadn't anticipated, the door was locked.

" _That's it, when I get back from this little excursion I refuse to tell Daryl that I locked myself in an oversized broom cupboard._ " You inspected the steel door's handle ready to repeat your earlier action of chopping the door handle of " _Shit… this hatchet will break before it makes it through metal… ok just gotta think straight, there has to be a key somewhere around here."_

 _"Oh, and what if there isn't?_ " your mind quarrelled.

" _Hey, don't answer back, if there isn't then we'll look for something else or at least attempt hacking at the door._ "

" _Go ahead, it's your funeral._ "

" _Self-depreciating little bastard… Oh good grief, this is the first stage of madness._ "

It didn't take long to find the door key on a hook towards the back of the room " _Ha ha, I told you we'd find the key._ " There was no reply to your inner monologue " _Oh, I see how it is, you're only there to argue when you think you're in the right, but the moment I get it right you don't want to talk… Ok, I really am going balmy but at least I have a reserve frenemy to big myself up_ ".

After one final cursory check you put the plan into action, launching yourself out of the room keeping as much speed as you could; as you ran through the maze of isles towards the front doors a large gathering of walkers had started following behind much like the ghosts to Pac-man, the difference being that these 'Ghosts' were ready to tear Pac-man limb from limb at the drop of a hat.

As you headed towards the exit you were forced to turn rapidly as the walkers around you converged into a horde; it was only a matter of minutes when you cornered yourself in the freezer isle, backing up as far as you could with the walkers closing in, " _Shit… How could I not realise that there were this many here?!_ "

You gripped your hatchet tight with both hands, turning the knuckles white, as you backed up further, your legs were knocked out from under you when you hit a ledge belonging to one of the freezers; acting fast you got up and pulled the door shut trapping yourself in but keeping the walkers at bay, temporarily. The walkers began pawing at the glass, making it squeal as they dragged their hands down it. Being on the inside of the freezer was a strange experience, claustrophobic but in a safe and slightly comforting manner, the shelves (some of which could be seen on the floor outside the freezer) had been removed on prior raids which allowed you to fit with relative ease.

Further investigation of your icy keep revealed a slim chance of escape, should you be so lucky to pull it off, for it turned out that what you were standing in wasn't one of many freezers in an isle but instead one large freezer with many doors and a gap wide enough to allow you to shimmy to the end of the hallway " _If I can shimmy down then I can bolt out of the door on the end and make another break for the front door, hopefully enough of the walkers will stay here too distracted to follow_ ".

You began shimmying down the ice like barricade trying to out-pace the walkers in the small space you had, time seemed to be going too slow as you tried to hurry onwards, the majority of the walkers had remained distracted as hoped but a few had noticed what was going on and were trying to break from the horde " _Don't notice me, it'll only take one to follow me to get the hordes attention, just stay where you are you rat-bastards_ " but it was too late, though they weren't keeping pace the horde had took notice of the attempted escape route and were turning to keep pace.

It was still too close to leave the confines of the freezer without being caught but you weren't seeing much choice as the horde began catching up, " _Oh God… I'm not gonna make it, I'm going to die here… What have I done?_ " The thoughts filled you with despair, your pace slowing to match them when suddenly the crippling fear was cut off by yelling and gunshots "COME GET SOME YOU EVER-LOVING FUCKS." A tall figure on the other side of the glass had got the walkers attention, making them turn, "(Y/N) I SEE YOU IN THERE, I'LL LEAD 'EM ROUND BACK, GO TO THE FRONT AND I'LL MEET YOU ON THE ROAD." The voice sounded strained through the glass and the gunfire but you knew it instantly, you didn't know how or why but there was no doubt about it, the voice belonged to none other than Abraham.

As soon as the walkers cleared you followed Abraham's plan to the letter, tearing through the front door and onto the open road, soon followed by Abraham and a slow trickle of walkers, the horde had thinned out slightly as soon as they'd reached the single back door. After 10 minutes of running down the long road no walkers remained in pursuit and the two of you slowed down to a mild walk, regaining your breath.

"So uh, how'd you know… that I was… there?" you asked between gasps of sweet air that burned your lungs.

"Didn't, that's just where I'd go on a raid, figured you would too." Abraham replied, nonchalant.

"Well you figured right, thank you. Wait a minute, what about Eugene? Why'd you come?"

"The kid was getting worried about you, so I left Eugene with Rosita."

"So… I suppose we're going to have to tell Daryl about this."

"I suppose we are."

"Abraham, thank you, I mean it."

"No problem."

* * *

DARYL POV

Daryl paced around the church tirelessly only pausing to look out the windows, Carl and Tyreese watched from the side-lines not daring to interrupt; Finally, Carol had had enough and approached him.

"Daryl, she'll be back soon, you need to stop" she advised gently.

"You can't promise that."

His statement gave her pause "No, I can't but we know her, she's strong and resourceful, and right now we've got to count on that."

"I **told** her to stay here."

"Well maybe that's the problem, you ordered her around, that's not how relationships work."

"WEL-"

"I would like to take the time to point out that if you both turned your attention to outside you would notice that both (Y/N) and Abraham are outside as we speak" Eugene interrupted drolly.

YOUR POV

Daryl ran out the church making a B-line for you, his face was a painting of pure thunder; his expression made your stomach churn sickly, a lump rising to your throat.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU CALL THIS?" Daryl roared, meeting you head on.

"Daryl" you replied meekly before deciding to just go for it "What happened was-"

"What happened was I decided that (Y/N) was right about the whole sticky situation after you and Carol left so I approached her and we went to town, a quiet trip with a decent haul" Abraham finished.

"Oh yeah, that what happened?" Daryl commented sarcastically "That's great because Eugene didn't tell it the same."

Abraham looked over to Eugene who was watching blankly from the steps of the church, it was a silent message that simply said 'Oh come on'.

"I would like you to know that he dragged the information out of me" Eugene interjected.

"I'm sorry" you yelled cutting through all the interruptions.

"OH, YOU'RE SORRY, WELL SORRY DOESN'T FIX THINGS, SORRY DOESN'T CHANGE WHAT YOU DID." Daryl was getting more erratic as he went on.

Abraham was now pushing Eugene back into the church leaving the two of you with some semblance of privacy.

"Look I-" you swallowed hard fighting off tears "I just- I understand that you're angry-"

"Oh no, angry don't cover this" Although he was no longer yelling Daryl's tone was far from quiet and calm.

"I know and I get it, I took a risk and I made a mistake but I just want to know why, why are you this angry?"

"Why? You wanna know why?"

"Yes, I want to know why" the tears finally started falling but you pushed onward anyway.

"Because."

"Because **what**?"

"JUST BECAUSE OK."

"NO, NOT OK. BECAUSE ISN'T AN ANSWER."

"BECAUSE I COULDN'T KEEP BETH SAFE."

The silence that followed that sentence seemed alien after all the yelling. You stood staring at Daryl unsure of what to say, his movements became more fidgety while he fought the tears that sprung to his eyes.

"I couldn't save Beth, and if I couldn't save her then how the hell am I going to protect you now" his voice had become merely a whimper.

Your mind cast back to your previous conversation with Carol her voice echoing in your mind ' _He'd do anything to protect you. Don't take his purpose away._ '

Daryl was staring at the ground, his expression a mask of pain; you approached him raising a hand to his cheek and raising his face to meet yours.

"Look, I know this is tough… you did your best to help Beth, there was nothing else you could have done but I-" a sigh escaped your lips "I'm not Beth, and I think that we both need to learn from this. You need to learn when to step back and let me do things, because there are times when I'm going to need you to protect me but I'll let you know when I need that. As for me, I need to learn that I'm not invincible and I'm not on my own anymore. Before I met you all, I was alone, I had to force myself into situations like that to survive but now… well now I have you and I have to step back on occasion and accept that I'm not always right. Daryl, I need to know is that enough for you?"

Daryl came in quick dragging you into a tight hug "It's enough. I'm sorry."

"Me too" you leaned into the hug kissing his neck.

Carol stood on the inside of the church watching the interaction through the window with only one comforting thought " _Maybe there's more hope for them than I thought_ ".


	12. Relief

A/N – IMPORTANT – A family member of mine is very ill at the moment and to be quite honest we're going to be up at the hospital a lot till August hoping that he lives so if progress on this is slow then I'm sorry but that's just the way it is, in the meantime I'll try my best to keep everything going and please enjoy this chapter.

* * *

DARYL POV

Although the earlier argument was over Daryl could only watch you from the other side of the church with a mix of fear and regret, prior to the apocalypse any relationship he had had, romantic or otherwise, had been unhealthy and short-lived; to even call previous relationships romantic would be an insult to the closeness that you and Daryl had built.

" _How the hell am I supposed to react to her… If I'm not her protector, then what am I?_ " The group was supposed to be in celebration over the supplies Rick had come back with but Daryl's thoughts remained sour and unsure; he wanted to be happy, but a deadly fear was creeping into him, a toxic thought… the fear of losing you.

"You know you can just tell me what's up right?"

In all his wonderings Daryl hadn't noticed you approach, you sat down next to him; Daryl's expression remained unsure.

"Don't look at me like that, if you have something to say then just come out with it."

"It's nothin'," he was barely audible.

"Oh no, you aren't getting away with it that easy. Come on, tell me what's going on."

He sighed tiredly, deciding to tell you what was on his mind, "I know what you said earlier, but what am I to you?"

You exhaled a small laugh much to Daryl's chagrin, "Sorry, sorry. That wasn't funny, sorry. Daryl Dixon," you used the full name for maximum effect, "Every day I look at you and wonder why, why did you pick me but-"

"(Y/N), you're amazing and strong and-"

"Let me finish. When we're together it's not a case of me looking around and going "Well you know, there's no other options around" I stay with you because you are kind, loving, generous and my word you're hot to boot."

Daryl smiled boyishly, "That it?" the question was of a mocking tone.

"Oh man, really? You are so great; I love you-" The words stunned both of you into silence, you knew that you loved him but saying it out loud, by accident… that was terrifying.

"I mean to say, well I… wellyouknowwhat-".

Daryl pulled you into a passionate kiss silencing your babbling, the moment was short lived as cheering came from the other side of the room, the group clapping and encouraging the two of you. You and Daryl beamed back at one-another until he spoke up, addressing the group, "Well what'd you expect, she said love and you in the same sentence."

He looked back, now only addressing you "I love you too, even if you're a stubborn, clumsy, idiot."

"Ah yes, a perfect moment gracefully wrecked with your eloquent language, this is definitely a perfect moment" you commented, kissing him again.

* * *

YOUR POV

You were beginning to panic, shortly after the group had sided with Abraham about going to Washington Daryl & Carol had disappeared, and worse Bob was lying in Gabriel's office missing a leg while everyone remained locked inside to avoid an unprepared battle with what was left of Terminus.

" _Alright, be reasonable and pull yourself together, we need to prioritise. Daryl and Carol can take care of themselves and we can search for them later if it comes to that. Bob refuses medical treatment and there's nothing to do there. That leaves eliminating the rest of Terminus and defending the church… not that we'll be here for much longer."_

"Rick," you called him as you walked over, "Who's going with you to fight?"

Rick looked up, and for the first time, you noticed that he looked tired, older somehow; it wasn't just that though, there was an anger in his eyes, the anger of a man who was tired of being struck down by an unfair hand, he kept all this out of his voice however, "I was thinking Michonne, Abraham, Sasha, Glenn, Maggie, Tara, and you."

You nodded, calculating the odds, that would be eight vs six, more than enough to win with your combined strength and experience, "I think- I think it would be wise to leave me here, that way everyone here is protected, in case anything goes wrong, you know," it wasn't really a question so much as a reasoning.

"(Y/N), you sure about this? Rosita and Tyreese are staying here so that seems like enough."

"Come on Rick, let's be real here. Rosita is a fantastic fighter but her first and only priority is Eugene, as for Tyreese, he's busy with Bob and not a fighter anyway. Carl will be with Judith which leaves Eugene and Gabriel, now we both know that Eugene's a genius but useless in a fight and as for Gabriel, well I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him, especially not after what he did to his flock or whatever. Even with me here I don't like the odds but fortunately for us we're taking the fight to them and not the other way around, I'm just saying that in case anything goes wrong I want someone here."

You could see your reasoning sinking in as Rick contemplated your request, he nodded agreeing with the prior statement.

* * *

Rick's team left as soon as night fell, using the cover of night to their advantage, it was at that point that you turned off all the lights, plunging the church into darkness and ushered everyone into the two back rooms, you remained with Carl, Gabriel and Judith in one, everyone else in the other.

Carl approached you, the closest thing he had to family out of the present company, he looked uncertain about something, "Hey, (Y/N). What do you think's going to happen with Glenn and Maggie?"

"What do you mean?"

Carl sat next to you on the floor, "When they leave tomorrow. Will they be ok? Should we be going too?"

"Come here," you put your arm around him, "We can't be sure what'll happen, but what we can be sure of is that they're survivors, they're going on a great mission and we can only root for them, you know." You were all too aware that your answer was pure bluster and the harsh reality was that you had no idea what was going to happen with them.

You sighed, giving Carl's arm a comforting squeeze "It's ok Carl, I get it. I'll miss them too."

Gareth's voice echoed through the church, grabbing your attention, "Hey, we know you're here. We're armed. We saw Rick leave; we know exactly who's here." You, and Carl grabbed your guns, 1 pistol and a rifle, combine that with Rosita's semi-automatic machinegun in the other room and you had a decent arsenal; decent yes, but good enough to fight six unknown guns, certainly not. The odds were stacked against you but you all remained poised at the doors ready to shoot anyway.

"You know it's not a big church, we can shoot through both doors and still have enough ammo left over to waste anyone left, I can't imagine that's what you all want. You know Priest, we can let you go, you can even take the baby, we're not here for you."

You spared a glance to Gabriel, his petrified face gave away his thoughts, he was considering their offer, not out of concern for Judith but for his own selfish instincts to get out unscathed. You cut your hand across your throat as a warning, a warning that said ' _Don't even fucking think about it_ ', all that served to do was make Gabriel even more terrified, you sighed in disgust, turning your attention back to the door.

Judith began crying, ruining any chance to hold out till the others got back, Carl went to quiet her but the damage had already been done. A quiet murmuring had begun outside the door, you strained your ears, trying desperately to hear what was going on; a low voice was giving orders " _Well well, someone's looking out for us because here comes the cavalry._ "

Carl looked over to you, 'Rick' you mouthed over to him, gaining a nod in response; then the screaming began, you leapt over to Carl, covering his ears, this time the killing was necessary but it didn't have to become the norm for him. That was it, the fight was over within minutes. Everyone gathered into the church, horrified expressions on many, especially Gabriel who looked like he wanted nothing more than the empty release of death. The smell of blood lingered in the air, clinging to your nostrils and for the first time you were shocked to find that, like Rick, you felt nothing, no sadness, no disgust, no anger; surely death should come with a price on emotions but there was just nothing, not even a hollowness. Should death really be viewed so lightly, like it's an answer to an unsolvable problem, like there's never an alternative? Even the questions racing through your mind didn't elicit guilt, all you felt was relief, relief that they were dead and you were not.

Relief.


	13. Chapter 14

A/N - I'd like to make a special thanks to Tumblr user heyitsmeshaz for being the first to comment on my new Tumblr writing page WriteYouIn so thanks for that and I'm glad you're enjoying it so far ^_^

* * *

DARYL POV

Daryl and Carol were on the 13th floor of a building, sitting on the windowsill where they had the perfect view of the building across the street; the building which supposedly held Beth. While travelling on this mad journey in a last ditch attempt of a rescue mission the pair had barely had a moment to talk, now that they had a proper chance to catch up they were beginning to notice the changes in each other.

Daryl spoke up, never taking his eyes from the window, "You said I ain't like I was before."

"Yeah."

"How was I?"

"It's like you were a kid, now you're a man. I think- I think that because of (Y/N), she's helped you mature. She's helped you see things in a way that you wouldn't have even considered before; it works both ways, you've helped her mature past her previous go it alone attitude, probably because you used to be like that."

When it became clear that that was all Carol had to offer on the subject Daryl continued, "How 'bout you?"

"I remember when I was with Sofia in a hostel before this had even began. I was sick of all the beatings, sick of going home and letting him hurt me. You know what I did about it? I prayed, I prayed for it to end and then I went back and nothing changed; I'm not that person anymore, I was sick of being that 'do nothing' woman. She's been burned away and I'm glad."

* * *

YOUR POV

" _Daryl should be here,_ " your mind repeated for the 20th time; the group were saying their goodbye's to Glenn and Maggie who were getting ready to go to D.C. with Abraham as promised.

" _He shouldn't be missing this… God where the hell is he? Wherever he is he better be safe._ "

"Let's Go," Abraham rallied, ready to get Eugene to D.C. faster than you could say go.

"Just give us a minute, 'kay?" Maggie requested.

Upon receiving a consenting nod from Abraham the young couple approached you, so far you were the only one left who hadn't said goodbye.

"Hey, you didn't think we'd leave without letting you say goodbye did you?" Glenn tried to smile.

"Are you kidding me? I finally get rid of you two but you still stick to me like flies to shit," you tried to make light of the situation.

Maggie grabbed you in a bone-crushing hug, "Thank you. For everything."

"No problem," you pulled out of the hug taking the pair in for what could possibly be the last time, "Now you kiddiewinks enjoy your honeymoon, I mean usually I would have picked Pairs or somewhere like that but if D.C. floats your boat then who am I to judge."

You looked towards Abraham and Rosita who were waiting patiently for the exchange to end, "Hey serge, if these guys come back with so much as one scratch I'm demoting you Mister. Understand?"

"I would expect nothing less little lady," he saluted in reply.

"Go kick some undead ass Eugene."

"I would not be here for any other reason," he deadpanned, nodding.

You re-joined Rick and the others, all of you watching the bus leave with a palpable sadness; it felt like only yesterday that you'd found each other again but now they had to leave once more. " _At least this time we know where they're going,_ " you consoled yourself weakly.

* * *

You observed the group inside the church, sick with worry; everyone was asleep with the exception of yourself, Gabriel, and Michonne who was outside on guard. While Michonne had promised that she'd wake you if Daryl came back you still felt nauseous with unease.

The church door clicked allowing admittance to Michonne who leaned down to give your shoulder a tap, you looked up towards her, "He's back," she mouthed. You wanted to shoot up and run to him but you restrained yourself, barely.

Excitement bubbled up inside you, ready to explode upon seeing where Daryl had been but the moment you saw him the feeling died, filling you with dread and sorrow instead; he looked tired, his shoulders were hunched over, his dark hair was more dishevelled than usual, his skin was pale which highlighted the dark rings under his eyes. A glance next to him revealed a scrawny man, around 20 years old, with a noticeable limp in his left leg.

You ignored the stranger, making a beeline for Daryl and enveloping him in a strong hug, he remained rigid in your arms; something was most definitely wrong.

"Daryl what happened? Where did you go? Where's Carol?" You had not meant to barrage him with so many questions but while you only wanted to comfort him the questions needed to be answered.

"(Y/N) – We found 'em. The guys who took Beth. They- They took Carol." His voice wavered, he was trying to keep it strong and angry but anyone who knew him well would be able to detect the slight whimper in his voice.

You released him from the hug, already planning the next move, "Alright then," you spoke urgently, "Michonne, go wake everyone up, Daryl and…" you looked towards Daryl's new-found companion.

"Noah," he volunteered.

"Right, Noah. You two need to tell everyone what you know about who we're up against, where it is, anything you can think of. While that's going on I would also like a look at that leg, it isn't looking good and I want you firing on all cylinders, we clear?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Enough of the ma'am, if Daryl brought you here it's just (Y/N), I'm not old yet. Now get indoors. It's time for a rescue mission."


	14. Cold

A/N – The break was too long, I'm sorry. I WAS LAZY.

* * *

"(Y/N), what do you think?" Rick asked, staring intently at you.

You looked around the small group, taking in the faces of Rick, Noah, Tyreese, Sasha, and Daryl; all of whom had come with on the rescue mission to Atlanta, "I think that Tyreese and Daryl are right; a trade is safer than all-out war, they have too many for us to take on, we should minimalize casualties where possible."

"Ok, so it's agreed, Noah acts as bait, then we take whoever comes."

The group nodded and dispersed, leaving you to watch Noah as he gazed at the brink of the city.

You approached him quietly, "You ok?"

"Yeah I'm fine it's just… I didn't think I'd be back here so soon, that's all," he answered monotonously.

"I understand but-"

"What do you understand?" he hissed, "I spent months trying to escape and now I'm finally free only to go back as bait, how can you possibly understand that?"

"Alright, maybe I don't understand it but I do comprehend it, look, if you don't want to be bait then don't be, from what you've told me these guys take anyone, if you don't want to do this then I'll do it."

"You don't know the hospital like I do."

"True, it still doesn't change my offer though."

"Jeez, Beth wasn't kidding when she told me you were something else."

"Beth talked about me?"

"She talked about all of you, she said that you would put yourself in danger for no reason other than to make others feel that little bit safer."

"It's called trust; I'd say it's worth it."

Noah took a deep breath, shivering slightly from the sickly feeling he had, "I'll do it, if not for myself then for Beth, I promised we'd get out together and that's what we're gonna do."

"If you're sure," you offered.

"I'm sure, (Y/N), I'm sorry I took it out on you, I was just-"

"Yeah, me too. Don't worry about it."

* * *

The plan had almost been perfect:

\- Use Noah as bait – Check

\- Capture two hostages – Check

\- Offer up an exchange – Check

\- Get admission to the hospital – Check

\- Make the trade – Check

At no point had anyone guessed that Officer Dawn Lerner, the leader of the opposing group, would make the unreasonable demand for Noah when she had shown a clear reasoning and level-headedness in the trade prior; she would not even listen to the pleas of her own group.

"Are you kidding me?" you spat contemptuously, "You have an entire hospital, a team of well-trained officers, supplies coming out of your ears, and we made a reasonable trade; now you want to pick a fight and for what? Some guy you don't need."

Daryl cursed you internally, asking himself why you just had to mouth off and have an opinion on everything; it didn't matter that you were right but there was a time and a place for everything.

"My officer died for him, you said so yourself," Dawn answered, never rising to your goad.

"He ain't staying," Daryl snarled, moving to the front of the group, next to Rick.

You stepped in front of Noah, shielding him from Dawn's penetrative glare.

"He's one of mine, you have no claim on him."

"The boy wants to go home so you have no claim on him," Rick remarked.

"He is not yours to keep," you glowered, "People have a right to choose and he chose us."

"Well then I'm afraid we don't have a deal," Dawn argued.

"The deal **was done!** " Rick fumed.

"It's ok, it's ok," Noah attempted to diffuse the situation, ready to give himself up.

"No it's not," you barked, "Noah, remember what I said earlier, you don't have to do this, you have a choice."

"You're right (Y/N), I do have a choice, it's okay."

"No it's not," Beth whispered as Noah moved forward to Dawn.

Beth hugged Noah and before anyone knew what was happening she stabbed Dawn, getting shot in the process; no one moved, no one spoke, in a situation like that what is there to say? She hit the floor in an ugly thud, her beautiful blonde hair tainted with blood in a way it should never have been. Daryl shot Dawn within the next second, getting held back by Carol when the others surrendered.

In that moment you supposed that so many things should be going through your head like how Daryl was feeling (you could see his lip trembling), how to grieve for your most gentle friend, or how things had come to this because of one person's lust for power but instead there was only one phrase spinning like a broken record on a loop, " _Maggie doesn't know._ "

The thought didn't last long as the group walked out of the hospital, reunited with Abraham's group; Daryl followed close behind, carrying Beth's body as her silent angel… her angel of death.

The second Maggie laid eyes on her sister's limp form you wished you could take it all back; the banshee-like scream that she released made you sure that sometimes it was better not knowing, at least that way she could have harboured false hope.

Sometimes in a world as dark as this you wondered how Daryl did it… killing people as easily as he did. You had yet to kill one but maybe that was the problem, the world had different rules now, would that make it easier to kill a person? Morally right even? Should you really be wondering how Daryl killed people or how you didn't?

The notion left you cold inside, after looking again to Beth's corpse though what else could you feel? There was nothing left… just cold.


	15. Shots Fired

A/N – Damn writer's block, this took way longer than it should have.

* * *

17 days.

It had been 17 days since Beth's death, 17 days since Daryl had last spoke to you despite your best efforts to make him talk, and now on the 17th day everyone was gathered around Tyreese's grave listening to Gabriel as he quoted a passage from the bible. You listened to the priest wondering why it felt so perverse to quote the bible in a situation like this when it had seemed so natural before.

" _Because if there is a God then that God is a sadist, or alternately there is no God so we're either paying homage to a cruel creature or an imaginary entity. Neither really deserve our appreciation… so why do we let Gabriel speak this nonsense?_ " You asked yourself.

In truth it wasn't the sermon that served as the source of your frustration, it was the fact that you couldn't even turn to Daryl in your moment of pain; he was supposed to be the one person you could trust more than anyone but he couldn't even bring himself to look at you right now, let alone come to you for support or vice versa.

After what felt like an eternity the make-shift funeral ended. Rick decided that it would be best to make camp there to give Sasha a chance to mourn; the group would begin their journey to D.C. in the morning.

You glanced at your watch, it no longer told the time but it did remind you of what society used to be like, as such you kept the symbol of humanity clamped around your wrist, taking comfort in its steel grasp.

With a resolute nod you decided to try and talk to Daryl again; he was sat motionless under the shade of a nearby tree.

"Hey babe," you started sadly, standing in front of him as if waiting for an invitation.

He barely acknowledged your presence, there wasn't even his usual grunt.

"Want to talk?" you tried again, continuing when you received nothing in response, "It doesn't have to be about Beth or anything… I know it still hurts. I'd almost forgotten what this feels like, you know? This pain. I can only imagine what Maggie's feeling-"

"Stop," he grumbled, "Stop pretending."

"Pretending?"

"Stop pretending that everything's gonna be alright if we talk 'bout this like some shitty movie; it's not. This ain't gon' get better just 'cause you play pretend to make yourself feel less like shit."

His words struck a nerve and for the first time you found that you didn't want to cry, you wanted to shout. You wanted to scream at him, tell him that you needed validation too, that you were sick of being everybody's dump truck; instead you were stuck for words, all you could do was walk away, detesting the situation completely.

* * *

You weren't sure how it had happened but something in your mind had switched off after that conversation with Daryl, it left you numb, you supposed it was like a defence mechanism to help you cope; regardless of how or why, you found yourself lost in the dense forest.

Had you been thinking straight you could have followed your own tracks back to camp but something inside told you to press onwards. After a while of inane wandering you were ready to turn back when you saw a mangy border collie with matted fur limping away from a fast approaching walker, you ran in without hesitation, crashing into the walker then reaching for a revolver you'd borrowed; upon spotting a sharp rock on the ground, you opted for the silent method, bashing away at the walker's head repeatedly until the skull caved in.

You turned to face the dog which cowered in your shadow, whining frantically as you approached.

"It's ok, there, there, good dog," you soothed, holding out your hand for the dog to inspect, he did so warily, while you grinned, "That's a good boy, nice and friendly aren't you."

The dog soon warmed up to you, laying his head on you calmly, you were surprised to see that his apparent docile manner had remained unscathed by the tortures of the world in its current state of affairs.

"Well what do you say? Want to come back with me?"

The question was answered with a small tail wag.

"I'm going to take that as a yes…" you searched his tattered collar for a name, "Bandit. Good name for a good dog eh, come on Bandit, let's go," you started on the journey back, suddenly aware of the darkening sky.

* * *

 **DARYL POV**

"What do you mean she's gone?" Daryl snarled at Gabriel, "Gone where?"

"S-seeing as you two are an i-item I thought you would have known," Gabriel whimpered, uncomfortable with Daryl's close proximity.

Rick pulled Daryl away, making him back down, "Come on Daryl, it's not Gabriel's fault," he reasoned.

"No… it's mine."

"We can play the blame game later, for now we organise a search party and go."

Daryl nodded crestfallen, " _It's my fault. I shouldn't have taken it out on her. My fault._ "

* * *

 **YOUR POV**

You walked the quiet path with Bandit in tow, he kept pace despite his limp, something you appreciated considering you were already late back to camp, " _Damn, I hope they're not too worried, it should be okay right? Now… which way was it again?_ "

You leaned down, checking the floor for the tracks you had undoubtedly made earlier; Bandit lingered close by, sniffing the air eagerly.

A pained yelp followed by distressed howling forced you to turn fast; the sight you were faced with was a disturbing one. Bandit had been struck to the ground by a spear as a haggard man charged towards him; you could only watch frozen in place; it was truly astonishing how attached you'd grown to the dog in such a short period of time.

The man came to a quick halt when he saw you, "Fuck!" he scowled, "The fuck are you?!"

You watched Bandit as he writhed pitifully on the ground, "You killed my dog," you mumbled.

"Say what now?"

"You **killed** my dog!"

"Look 'ere missy, I don't want no trouble, I'm just here for my hunt, now you give it up and I go."

Hearing the man speak served only to infuriate you further, slowly you reached for your revolver, raising it with surprisingly steady hands and pulling back the hammer, ready to shoot.

He held up his hands, "Wait-"

The shot echoed through the surrounding area, the man dropped to the ground instantly, as did the revolver. Fresh tears sprung to your eyes as you surveyed the scene; unable to support yourself you crumpled against the nearest tree, retching until nothing remained in your stomach.

* * *

 **DARYL POV**

Daryl sprinted through the dense foliage, his heart beating a million times a minute as he rushed towards the sound; Rick, Michonne, Carl, Glenn, and Maggie, followed close behind.

With one final push the group broke through into the clearing you were in, Daryl took in your weeping form curled up next to the corpses of a man and a dog; he didn't know what to make of the scene as he wrapped his arms around you.

"What happened?" he prompted, stroking your hair while you soaked his shirt.

"I- I shot- h-he's dead b-because I s-shot," you gasped uncontrollably, "I don-don't know why I d-did it but I s-shot him."

The group stared at you with unified understanding, it was a pitying look that said, " _We've all been there._ "

Rick stepped forward, "Let's go," he commanded quietly, "Let's go."

Daryl felt your heavy weight against him, looping his arms under your legs he lifted you off the ground, knowing you couldn't make it on your own in this state, "I'm sorry," he spoke low so only you would hear, "I was supposed to be there for you and I wasn't. That will **never** happen again. I promise."

You were torn in two, one half of your mind wanted to wallow in the pain it had created upon shooting the stranger, the other wished to move on and bathe in the safety that Daryl brought with him; the controversy brought you to a stalemate where all you could do was allow yourself to be carried to safety while you gave in to the exhaustion that had amassed throughout the day. Before you collapsed into a deep sleep you managed to tug your watch off, dropping it to the ground, no longer the reminder of what it was; the action went unnoticed by the rest of the group, then darkness consumed you.


	16. I'm Fine

A/N – I drank rum last night and woke up to see that I'd written a whole chapter that I didn't even remember writing… Kids, forget school, start drinking instead.

Warnings – Swearing and Violence. Thoughts of suicide and self-harm.

Rating – T

I'm fine.

It was truly incredible how much a person could hide with those two words alone. After a rough situation people often ask, 'How are you?' and no matter how the recipient is really feeling the conditioned response is, 'I'm fine.'

Each member of the group had visited you at different points of the day since you returned, they all asked different variations of the same question; each member got the same response from you, a deadpanned, "I'm fine."

Inside you weren't screaming, you weren't crying, you weren't doing anything, instead it felt more like you were above the entire situation, watching things unfold around you but not actively participating; you supposed this was what most called disassociation.

The worst thing about disassociation was that what would normally be considered terrible or dangerous thoughts such as those of self-harm or suicide came with an easy clarity. It was more like asking yourself what you should have for dinner rather than contemplating suicide.

"Hello (Y/N)," Gabriel approached.

"I'm fine," you responded automatically.

"I see, that's what you're telling yourself. Then please, let me ask, what is God telling you?"

The fact that Gabriel was still preaching about God brought you crashing down to earth with a startling lucidity, your moment of disassociation ending, fury filled you in its place, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!"

The rest of the group looked towards you, monitoring your outburst like a zoo keeper would watch a dangerous animal, "YOU'RE STILL SINGING GOD'S PRAISES AFTER EVERYTHING? I KILLED A MAN. DO YOU GET THAT? I. KILLED. A. MAN."

Gabriel backtracked, sputtering when no-one came to his defence, "Y-yes well, perhaps you would feel b-better if you c-confessed your sins to God, after all h-he only punishes the w-wicked."

"You absolute **fucking** hypocrite. Is that what you tell yourself every night when you try to justify that you let your **entire** flock die? You listened to their screams and still chose to only save yourself; you telling me that God isn't gonna punish that because you spread the bible's messages?"

"I-I-uh-"

"Save it. I don't want to hear any of your shit, fuck off," you pushed past him onto the edge of the camp where you propped yourself against a tree.

You spotted a walker moving towards you and reached for your hatchet ready to dispatch it. You raised your arm ready to make the swing, a vision of the man you had killed flashed before your eyes causing you to drop the weapon with a weak scream. The walker lifted its arms, Daryl rushed in front of you, making light work of the scraggily walker.

"(Y/N)!" He grabbed hold of you with both hands, "(Y/N), are you okay?!"

Visions of the previous day were still flashing before you, despite wanting to scream in fresh horror you avoided Daryl's gaze and responded with an eerie, "I'm fine."

"You are nowhere near damn fine," he growled.

When you stared vacantly through him Daryl dragged you away, "That's it, we're fixing this, **now**."

LINE BREAK

Daryl took you a short way from the group so the two of you were out of earshot, he then proceeded to talk at you, demanding everything he knew you needed, "We're gon' do this your way. A little while ago you asked me if I wanted to talk and I shot you down, now you're gonna talk, if that's what's gonna fix you then that's what you need to do."

You stood in silence, staring at the ground.

"Damn it, don't you get it? We need our (Y/N) back, I need **my** (Y/N) back. Whatever you have to do just do it, you need to kill a walker then we'll do it together, you need to talk it out then do it, whatever you need, **do it**."

His words struck a chord, the Daryl you had first met wouldn't have known how to talk to you like this, he would have left the job to Rick or someone else; yet here he was, reaching out to you in a way you never knew he could.

Fresh tears prickled your eyes and you found yourself falling into his shielding arms, you spoke softly, "I thought about it Daryl, about ending it all because I couldn't remember what we were living for. I didn't get what the point was anymore, since I killed another person, doesn't that make me just as bad as the walkers, or does it make me worse because I made a conscious choice to kill when they're little better than animals?

"Hey, hey, look at me," he waited till you complied, "We've all been on that edge before, Rick, Carol, Michonne, me, we've all been there, it don't make a difference killing a person so long as you remember what you're fighting for."

"What do you fight for?"

"I fight to be better than the piece of shit I was when this all started, that way I can prove to you that we can survive together."

"I want to do more than survive Daryl, I want to live."

"Then live but don't do it for anyone else, do it for yourself."

The famous quote popped in your mind, though you weren't sure from where: 'Dying is easy. Living is hard.'

You found it interesting that Daryl was often more articulate then he perceived himself to be.

You nodded thoughtfully, a rare smile reaching your lips, Daryl smiled back, glad to see that his words hadn't fallen on deaf ears.

"I love you," you whispered.

"Yeah, you too babe, come on, let's head back, I wanna see you rip into that priest asshole again."

You took his hand in your smaller one, happy that you had someone who you could do that with, he turned to face you, kissing your cheek lightly, before the two of you headed back to camp together.


	17. Rest

**YOUR POV**

Some things didn't make sense right now like how you had gotten into a cosy house with Daryl on top of you but in the heat of the moment things rarely did follow life's usual rules.

His skin was a lot smoother than you had perceived and as you grinded against him nothing felt more right. The two of you had never come this close but now you felt truly ready for him, so long as nothing should interrupt.

He kissed you roughly, it felt like he wanted more than he could get, his tongue wrestled its way into your mouth and then, as he was about to unbutton your shirt-

A nudge on your shoulder woke you up, you squinted to see Daryl offering his hand, you took it with a shy smile, hiding a blush.

"You ok?" he grunted, noticing that you were off-colour.

"Yeah, just had a good dream, that's all," you muttered, wishing it was more than just a dream.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, you were in it."

Daryl grinned cheekily, "Really?"

"Yeah, kind of reminds me of something I read, 'I think we dream so we don't have to be apart for so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can be together all the time.'"

"I suppose that was Shakespeare or somthin' just as wimpy."

"Would you be less impressed if I told you that quote was actually Winnie the Pooh?"

"You're so weird," Daryl shook his head, walking away.

"Just makes you love me more," you called after him, rousing the remaining sleeping members of the group.

You stretched out, wondering where the day would take you next. Before the group began travelling, Carol took Daryl aside, you didn't interrupt. When Daryl came back he was looking a little disheartened and you noticed that Beth's knife was now harnessed to his side, you moved close and held his hand, giving it a slight squeeze for support; he responded with a half-smile, silently thanking the world for having you in it.

 **DARYL'S POV**

Even with your support, the day had not been an easy one for Daryl. He was torn between wanting to forget Beth and wanting to keep her close; her knife brought him no closer to deciding what to do, instead it served as a painful reminder that in her moment of bravery no-one could save her. **He** couldn't save her.

With such thoughts clouding his mind, Daryl kept scouting ahead and circling back on a loop, straying away from the group but never leaving them completely; that was how he found the barn.

He stayed for a while, still numb from the morning's events. Here he was thinking about a barn where you could be safe when he should have been thinking of his previous failure and how he should be punished for it. His mind strayed to when he was a child, the beatings his father would give him for merely existing, how he would scream, "NO, DADDY, NO!"

It was a truly pathetic moment of his life, with no Meryl to protect him he had vowed to be stronger. Yet here he was, thinking about his failure and how for once, he deserved to be punished. With that in mind Daryl lit his last cigarette, taking a long drag, then after a long moment of contemplation he put it out on his hand, as his father and various family members had done so many times throughout his childhood; just one more scar to remember.

The cigarette itself didn't hurt, that was a pain he'd become accustomed to a long time ago but as the skin burned away so did the barrier that had been holding him together; in the serenity of the uninhabited woodland, he wept.

He wept for his losses, he wept that the world had come to this, he wept for his brother, and he wept that he couldn't bring himself to come to you, the woman he loved.

 **YOUR POV**

It was surreal.

The entire group, minus Daryl, were staring at actual bottles of water, just lying in the road with a note that read: FROM A FRIEND.

"We shouldn't touch it," you whispered.

"Where did it come from?" Rosita asked, more to herself than to anyone else.

Daryl walked up as everyone stood in silence, Rick passed him the note and he joined in the staring match that everyone else was in.

The water was indeed a tempting offer as the group had been running low and as such everyone had had to abstain from drinking until they found more.

"What else are we going to do?" Tara inquired, hiding her desperation for the water in front of them.

"Not this," Rick ordered, "We don't know who left it."

"If that's a trap, we already happen to be in it," Eugene volunteered in his usual monotonous tone, "but I for one would like to think that it is indeed from a friend."

"What if it isn't? They could've put something in it," Carol responded.

"I agree with Carol," you stood by her, "If I wanted rid of people I'd poison it."

Carl gave you a worried stare, you rushed on, "What? I said **if**. It's not like I did it."

Eugene licked his lips and rushed at a bottle, ready to act as a tester. Abraham hurried forward, slapping the bottle away from Eugene's mouth without a word.

"We can't," Rick murmured.

Thankfully the argument was quickly ended when heavy rain began pelting down in large splashes; you didn't think you had ever been so thankful for it. The group was left giggling and even laying in it with open mouths, you couldn't resist spinning around with your arms out; it was the most beautiful feeling ever.

Gabriel didn't share the mutual feeling; he broke down instead for questioning the presence of God. Rick quickly broke up the rest break, commanding the group to set their bottles out and catch as much as they could.

As heavy thunder boomed, making Judith cry, you all looked to the sky, quickly realising that this would be no mere storm and although you would get the water you direly needed, you would also have to find shelter quick. On that note Daryl told everyone about the barn he had spotted earlier, mentioning that it was close by.

* * *

The night was a rough one. It had begun with a quiet conversation while the children slept about what the true meaning of death was; a harsh subject but interesting nonetheless.

After that the group had went off to sleep. You were quickly woken by the sounds of a horde outside the barn doors, Daryl, Maggie, and Sasha were already pushing against the doors to keep them out without making any sounds that might further attract the walkers. You jumped up to help, pushing against Daryl as the rest of the group backed up the others. The struggle was difficult, you didn't care who you pushed against, so long as the doors held their place and eventually, after an arduous fight, the walkers went on their way, leaving the lot of you to sink into a deep and much needed sleep.

You fell asleep before Daryl and for a brief moment he hesitated, unsure of whether he could bring himself to hold you; he was almost afraid that he didn't deserve you after the previous events. You mumbled his name drowsily, that was the deciding factor, the one that made him sure that he wanted to embrace you.

Carefully he wrapped his arms around you with a whisper of, "I'm here babe, I'm here."

Although he had moved on slightly he was still unable to sleep, so he kept vigil instead, protecting your sleeping form until the morning came and Maggie approached him to talk.

After returning her newly fixed music box Daryl allowed himself some peace of mind, with that over he could finally rest.


	18. A Friendly Smile

A/N – After all the pain and torment of the new episode have a new chapter which was getting too long so I split it, it may be a bit before I figure what I'm writing next, though I think I've got it.

* * *

You had never seen anybody look so uncomfortable. Maggie and Sasha had brought in a stranger, Aaron, who Daryl was patting down for weapons; then again, if you were in a building with around seven guns trained on you then you'd probably feel the same way.

After making sure he was clean Sasha spoke up, "He has a camp nearby. He wants us to audition for membership."

Aaron smiled apologetically, "I wish there was another word, audition makes it sound like we're some kind of a dance troupe… but uh, that's only on Friday nights."

You snickered lightly, it sounded strange in the tense silence, Daryl glared at you, "What?" you mouthed, "It was funny."

Rick gave you a pointed stare, ordering you to be quiet, you looked at the ground awkwardly and awaited what Aaron would say next. Aaron moved on to explain his so-called community; he even had pictures to back up his explanations. You were eager to give Aaron a chance to explain but apparently, Rick had heard enough as he threw a hard punch that knocked Aaron out instantly; the group wasted no time in tying Aaron to a beam and searching his bags.

Daryl stalked over to you, grunting a low, "Are you crazy?"

"What? What did I do this time?" your eyes were still trained on Aaron.

"That guy, you were listening to him."

"Oh come on Daryl, I just laughed at his joke, I didn't jump into his arms and say 'Take me to your fortress fair knight for lo and behold I am a fair maiden in need of assistance.' I just wanted to hear him out 'k?"

"No, not okay. It's a trap."

You rolled your eyes at Daryl, "Really Daryl? Don't you think there's even a chance that he's telling the truth? I'm not saying we definitely go, I'm just saying that maybe there's a small chance that he's telling the truth and we should listen."

"While you're there listenin' whose gonna be there watching your back?"

"You, I hope."

The answer seemed to irritate Daryl further, "Yeah? What about when I'm not there?"

You sighed, it seemed that Daryl still had a long way to go till he trusted himself to protect you again, "In that case I have everyone else here and more importantly I have myself; I've got in and out of plenty rough situations before I met you, I'm sure I can do it again. Besides that, I trust you," you kissed his cheek, "now will you please allow me the same courtesy and hear this guy out when he wakes up?"

Daryl caressed your arm, "I'll listen but I ain't making no promises."

"Fine by me."

* * *

There was a sense of disquiet in the barn as Maggie and Michonne checked Aaron over for injuries; it seemed as though nobody trusted the fact that Rick had punched him. You were indifferent to the matter, yes Aaron had been punched unfairly but as a counterpoint, the incident couldn't be changed, so why linger on it?

When he did come around Aaron did something completely unexpected, he smiled, then when asked about it, he answered, "You practically ignore a pack of roamers on your trail. Despite a lack of food and water, you never turn on each other. You're survivors and you're people. Like I said, and I hope you won't punch me again for saying it, that is the most important resource in the world."

It didn't matter that you believed him, what mattered was that Rick didn't. It left Michonne standing by Aaron's side, defending him, willing to check that he was telling the truth and come back. You joined her side, much to Daryl's disapproval, "Rick," you reasoned, "We can't just ignore this. I get that it could be a trap or whatever but what if it's not? We could have a life again, and I don't mean one where we're always moving around, wondering where the next meal's coming from."

"(Y/N), it's an ambush," Rick explained.

"And if it isn't then you're willing to put an innocent man to death; that isn't justice," you hit on the one thing Rick cared about most, other than his family.

Michonne got through to Rick in another, more effective, manner, "Passing up an opportunity where we can live, where Judith can live, that's dangerous. We're **going** to check this out, we can handle ourselves."

When Maggie agreed with Michonne, Glenn joined in, Rick nodded, then looked to Abraham, summoning him over.

"Yeah, I'll walk with 'em," Abraham remarked.

On Rick's final command, Rosita joined the group.

* * *

The trip was an easy one, on the way there was nothing to fight, no enemies in sight, and an easy route to the vehicles which were there as promised. There was a minor scuffle with a small group of walkers, but nothing that the six of you couldn't handle. Then, there was the gold at the end of the rainbow, enough food was stacked in a van for a couple of weeks; it was better than any of you could have imagined.

You explained all of this to Rick when you got back, each of you was eager to go and check the community out. Everyone except Rick, who still didn't trust Aaron or the people he wanted you to meet.

Michonne stepped forward, issuing an order to Rick himself, "We need this so we're going, we're **all** going. Somebody say something if they feel differently."

After all were in agreement it was decided that the group would travel at night on a route that the community hadn't cleared, unless Aaron told you all where the community was; this was something he couldn't bring himself to do.

Rick nodded at Aaron's resolve, "Alright then, everyone eat, we have a long night ahead of us."

You grabbed a tin of spaghetti hoops and sat down next to Aaron, "Hey, mind if I sit here?" you asked with a smile.

Aaron watched you cautiously, "No, but then even if I did, it wouldn't matter, would it?"

"Probably not. Look uh, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. This probably isn't how it normally goes, right?"

Aaron didn't answer.

"…Yeah, I thought as much. Just so you know, you're right, these guys are good people, they're just a little scared right now. Hell, if you'd seen what people have done to us in the past, you'd understand."

"What about him there? He doesn't seem to like you too much," Aaron looked towards Daryl, whose lip was curled in contempt.

"Oh, don't mind him, he's my guy," you smiled, "he just doesn't trust you too much right now. Still though, he wants to see your community, he said so himself… in less words but he did say so."

"It must be nice, having someone like that to watch out for you."

"It is. How about you? Do you have a special someone?"

Aaron smiled, the first genuine smile he'd had, "Yeah, I do and I can't wait to see him again."

"You will, we won't do anything to hurt you, so long as you return the favour."

"Of course-"

"You don't have to explain yourself, I already know you're telling the truth. Spaghetti?" you offered.

"No thanks, you eat it, I know it's been a long time since you've eaten."

"Thanks."


	19. What Was Before

You had never felt so revolting than the moment you were faced with Deanna and a video camera in her living room. Your hair was coated in thick grease and mud that clumped it together, whatever you touched left the surface as grubby as your skin, and you had accidentally left a blood stain on the coffee table when a cut opened on your hand; contrariwise, Deanna was pristine, as was her house and the few people you'd seen upon entering the walled community.

"Rick believes that we shouldn't let people into our community, what do you think about that?" Deanna asked, pulling your attention from your surroundings.

You met Deanna's calm gaze with a curious one of your own, "Have you been outside since the start?"

"I asked you something first."

"I think he'd say anything to protect us and his family. We're not sure what's going on in here but we know that other people out there aren't safe. Now answer my question… please."

"Very well. No, I haven't been out there since this began, my husband and sons have though, as well as some of the other townsfolk. Mostly we stay here and keep to ourselves. Tell me (Y/N), what did-"

"Do you grow crops?"

"I believe it was my turn."

You fidgeted awkwardly in the chair, picking at your nails, "It's important."

"We currently live off what was here before we arrived, I assure you it's a reasonable amount."

"No amount is reasonable. You need to grow stuff now, otherwise you'll run out before you know it, then you'll be the ones who die."

"Excuse me?"

"You brought us in here to save us, but if you run out of food then it's us who'll have to save you. We can survive out there, can you?"

"Well, you certainly seem confident in your abilities, that is food for thought indeed."

You remained silent, moving your attention from your nails to the fray of the armchair.

"No more questions?" Deanna raised an eyebrow.

"Tons… but you had questions too, gotta be fair."

"A very wise outlook on life to hold, and a rare one from what I've seen of your other companions. Let's start with what you did before."

"Before as in-"

"Yes, as in what you did before everything started."

"I know you think that matters and maybe you're right but I've learnt so much more now. I know how to fix stuff, even cars. I'm a decent hunter. Plus, I know how to farm and raise live-stock, Herschel- That was Maggie's dad- He taught me how."

"You have quite the array of talents."

"Maybe. It's not enough though, I need to know more. Rick told us your husband was an architect, I'd like to learn some of that or if you have books then some medical training would be good."

Deanna smiled widely, "With an attitude like that, I'm sure you'll fit right in here. My husband would like you, he always believed that people should strive to be more, though he would use the term 'Jack of all trades.' Personally, I prefer the term polymath."

"…Yeah."

"You don't seem too impressed with the title."

"It's not that, it's more like… Sometimes people get impressed with all I can do; I don't want to let them down. After learning so much, what if… It sounds stupid but what if it just falls out of my brain when I need it most? It's all well and good learning it but it only counts if I can retain it all."

"Have you failed so far?"

"No, doesn't mean I won't though."

"I like you (Y/N), can I call you that?"

"Sure."

"I know you have more questions but I have to interview the rest of your group and find jobs for them. Your job, meanwhile, will be to keep up general maintenance around the community, I will get you the proper tools and see to it that people contact you with any problems you're having. I will also speak with my husband about a farming plot for you to work on, considering he can find supplies. Does that all sound acceptable to you?"

You met Deanna's eyes, attempting a shaky smile of your own, "One condition – Wherever your husband picks to farm has to be okayed by me or Rick, we know what to look for when plating."

"Agreed." Deanna stood up, you mirrored the action, she stuck her hand out to shake, you did so hesitantly, "It's a pleasure to have you aboard."

* * *

You rolled a blanket down next to Judith's crib where Daryl was stood; so far, he'd been the only one not to shower.

"Can you believe this?" You asked aloud to no-one in particular, "We're in an actual living room. I never thought I'd see real furniture again."

"It truly is intriguing to find an entire community of houses that are not in a dilapidated state." Eugene remarked.

"Do you guys think this could be-"

"No." Daryl growled, cutting you off before you could get your hopes up. "Don't get used to it, it's gonna be a waste of time like everywhere else."

"I wouldn't say that, Michonne thinks it's okay."

"Daryl's right (Y/N)," Rick jumped in, "We still don't know how this place works, until we do I want everyone to keep an eye out for trouble, agreed?"

There was a general murmur across the room which Rick accepted with a nod.

"If we're looking out for trouble," You began again, "then should we be worried that Gabriel isn't here?"

"I don't give a rat's ass where his holiness has wandered off." Abraham drawled languidly from his spot against the wall.

"Why do you care (Y/N)? The guy's harmless." Rosita added.

You couldn't fight the churning in your stomach at the thought of Gabriel, "I don't trust him… if I've learnt anything, it's that nobody's harmless."

The conversation ended upon Michonne's entry, much like everyone else she looked rejuvenated from the simple prospect of a real bathroom. From a quick glance around, you could see that everyone was in a surreal state of relaxation which lasted until Deanna came to see Rick shortly thereafter.

You observed the woman cautiously, she had clearly never seen anything like your group; it almost felt as if you were in a zoo and she was enjoying the new animals. Although she expressed admiration at you all staying together, you wondered whether it was an old politician poker face; she proved a difficult person to read.

Rick got onto the subject of jobs with Deanna, "Well, you didn't give me one." He noted.

"I have." Deanna smiled knowingly. "I just haven't told you yet. Same with Michonne. I'm closing in on something for Sasha, and I'm just trying to figure Mr Dixon out but I will."

Daryl looked away uncomfortably as Deanna left, you tried to meet his gaze though he was clearly avoiding yours.

"You want to talk about it?" You whispered.

Daryl got up, striding away up the stairs. Rick addressed you sympathetically, "You want me to talk to him?"

"No, I think this has to come from me." You answered, moving out of the room. "If I can't get through to him, we'll give him some time and you can try tomorrow."

Rick nodded, leaving you to your business.

* * *

Although the house was no mansion, you had trouble finding Daryl for a few minutes. That is, until you saw the upstairs window open and found him on the porch roof.

"Hey," You leaned out the window where Daryl was hunched up, "Can I join you?"

When there was no reply you joined Daryl anyway.

"Is this about the job thing?"

"No." Daryl answered too fast, you sat next to him, leaning your head on his tense shoulder.

"Why does it matter? Deanna will find something for you, or if she doesn't, why don't you suggest something to her? You could be a mechanic or a hunter. Maybe even something on defence, hell, this place really needs some guard patrols or something."

"I don't need no coddling. So I ain't got a job, it don't matter; never did before."

You could see past the angry scowl that Daryl was trying so hard to maintain, behind it was all the pain of years wasted doing nothing, of being a nothing. Despite everything you all had been through and all the times Daryl spent proving himself, he still worried that he wouldn't be good enough; that he could never be good enough.

"You know… it doesn't matter what you were before."

"Oh yeah? What job did you get?"

"Maintenance and repairs. Now, you know full well I couldn't do that before. That's something I learnt from you, and that's what I told Deanna, I told her that I'd learnt more now than what I could do before."

Daryl relaxed a little, "You really think it don't matter?"

"I know it doesn't." You got up, ready to go back through the window. "You coming or do I have to sleep alone?"

Daryl snorted quietly, "Yeah… I'll be right there."


	20. A New Day A New Place

To say Alexandria was beautiful would be an understatement. It's shining community, strong work ethic and protective walls made it the shining beacon of hope amidst the proverbial sea of danger outside. You hadn't quite come to terms with the normality of it all yet, then again, it was only your first day there. Everywhere you looked, people were walking dogs, having tea on patios, mowing lawns; it was all completely unnecessary to survival and it came with the dawning realisation that you'd forgotten how to do things for pleasure as opposed to simply existing.

Earlier in the morning, you'd found out that Glenn, Terra, and Noah were going out with two members of the community who would 'show them the ropes,' you had already decided that you would go too so you could learn about the areas surrounding Alexandria. Daryl no doubt already knew about your plan to leave from Carol and Rick. You were delighted that he didn't try to stop you from leaving, it meant that he was finally trusting you instead of living life as your protector. On the other hand, he wasn't making any attempts to get used to his new surroundings; he actually seemed rather set on hating it.

"(Y/N)." Glenn motioned you over. "We're going to meet them now, you coming?"

You nodded, following him to the designated meeting spot where two men came out from one of the houses.

The meeting started off as well as could be expected, you met Aiden and Nicholas, Deanna's sons, who were evidently in charge of supply runs. However, as the meeting went on, you noticed small faults in their way of handling things, like when Glenn asked about weapons, they gave each of you a handgun; you examined the gun unsurely, wondering why they hadn't also bothered to give out melee weapons. Yet as you pondered the situation, you opted not to say anything, instead seeing what they would teach you; besides, you'd borrowed your old hunting knife from Carl, it was tucked safely under your shirt.

While your group followed Aiden and Nicholas outside Alexandria, Aiden explained his rules about splitting into two groups and using flares to call for help. On one hand, it seemed like a safe system, on the other, it felt like his people weren't trained enough to handle themselves.

Aiden sighed after explaining the loss of some of his people, then said, "Look, I- I can be a hard ass and I know I'm a douche bag but someone's gotta call the ball around here and that someone is me. If you're on this crew, you do exactly as I say."

Everyone hesitated before Terra murmured, "Sorry you lost your people."

"Yeah. We got ours."

Nicholas smiled sickly, "We managed to snag one of the dead-heads that took 'em down, strung it up there." he pointed ahead, walking on.

"What? Why?" Glenn demanded.

"Now we have a little pre-game ritual to get our heads on straight."

"To remind us what we're up against." Aiden added.

You felt sick at the idea of torturing a walker for pleasure. Sure, they couldn't feel pain but there was still no reason to play games with the corpses of humans who had just been trying to survive the same shit as everybody else. The situation only got worse when the clearing which the walker was supposed to be in was empty, leaving only sticky entrails on the chain of a tree where it had been hanging.

Nicholas whistled loudly to attract the escaped walker, prompting you all to shush him hastily.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" You demanded in a hushed tone. "Do you want a herd over here? Because that's what you'll get."

"Yeah." Glenn agreed. "It's gone."

"It took down one of our friends." Aiden argued petulantly. "If it's nearby we're not letting it go."

Nicholas whistled again and the walker appeared promptly behind Aiden. The two brothers proceeded to bait the walker between them, trying to hook it into place. You observed the situation in sick disbelief, reaching under your shirt to pull your hunting knife out and end the poor creature's life once and for all. Noah apparently had the same idea as he aimed his gun at the walker, holding it steady despite Aiden's protests. It was Terra who finally went to make the killing blow with her own dagger but the walker threw Nicholas down, turning on her when she got close. You rushed in to help but Glenn got there first, stabbing it with his own, previously concealed, knife.

"WHAT THE HELL?" Aiden screamed, pushing himself up.

"Yeah, what the hell?" Terra countered breathlessly.

"YOU AMOST GOT HER KILLED." Glenn argued.

"I TOLD YOU ALL TO STAY BACK." Aiden roared furiously. "I TOLD YOU TO LISTEN TO EVERY DAMN THING I SAID. I told you that."

You pushed past everyone, pinning Aiden to a tree with a strong grip, much like you'd seen Daryl do to others in the past. "You are utterly ridiculous." You hissed angrily. "By playing your twisted little game you could have got Terra killed."

"WE WERE PREPARING YOU."

"NO!" You pointed to the dead walker behind you with your free hand. "THAT USED TO BE A PERSON. I ACCEPT THAT WE HAVE TO KILL THEM TO SURVIVE BUT HAVE SOME DECENCY, SHOW SOME DECORUM FOR FUCKS SAKE. IF YOU EXPECT ME TO FOLLOW YOU IN THE FIELD THEN GROW THE FUCK UP AND LEARN SOME RESPECT."

You finally let him go, marching away quickly back to Alexandria where you would be sure to report the incident to Rick and Deanna. Daryl stood to attention on the porch as you strode through the gate, followed closely by Glenn, Nicholas and Aiden; Terra and Noah were giving a slightly wider berth to avoid more confrontation.

"You're not ready for runs yet." Nicholas called out.

"Yeah, pretty sure you've got that backwards." Glenn argued.

"Hey. Hey." Aiden grabbed Glenn, you came to a halt, turning to see what he had to say for himself. "Look, we've got a way of doing things around here and maybe-"

"You tied up walkers." Glenn argued.

"THEY KILLED OUR FRIEND." He grinned smugly as a crowd gathered. "I'm not having this conversation. You obey my orders out there."

"Well then we're just as screwed as your last run group."

Nicholas got as close as he could to Glenn. "Say that again."

"Back off Aiden." Terra warned.

"Come on man, just take a step back." Noah added.

Aiden pushed GleNn back a few paces.

Glenn looked pityingly at him, "No one's impressed man. Walk away."

"AIDEN." Deanna's voice rang clearly out. "WHAT IS GOING ON?"

"This guy's got a problem with the way we do things." He turned to face his mother. "Why'd you let these people in?"

"Because we actually know what we're doing out there." Glenn answered.

Aiden threw a hasty punch at Glenn which Glenn easily avoided, throwing a punch of his own and knocking Aiden to the ground. Daryl ran in, tackling Nicholas to the floor and pinning him there so he couldn't help his brother. Rick ran over to grab Daryl while Deanna shouted at Aiden, demanding that he stopped. You and Michonne stared Aiden down, making sure he knew he was outmatched.

When everyone seemed to have calmed down slightly, Deanna called everyone to attention. "I want everyone to hear me okay? Rick and his group are part of this community now, in all ways, as equals. UNDERSTOOD?" She glared pointedly at Aiden who conceded.

"All of you, turn in your weapons." Deanna continued. "And you two," she motioned to her sons, "come with me."

You didn't care to hear anything else after that; the day had given you too much to think about. You walked back to the house you'd all been sharing in search of a pen and some paper. If you were going to teach Alexandria how to survive, then you were going to write up a handbook of survival methods for the people who needed it. These people would learn to survive your way; you'd make sure of it.


	21. Your Way

You sat impatiently in Deanna's living room, repeatedly stroking the scruffy little hand-book you'd filled over the past few days. You were annoyed, after telling Deanna you had something important to talk about, she'd let you in only to leave and make tea; didn't she see the seriousness of the situation? Tensions had only risen since the spat at the gate and it seemed nobody in either group knew who to trust or where to start in learning.

Finally, Deanna came in with a tray and two tea cups on flowery saucers. You held in a sigh, noting the problem right in front of you. When you'd first arrived in Alexandria, the walls felt like a God-send, now they felt more like a prison, keeping people from learning basic survival.

"So (Y/N)," Deanna started warmly, "you wanted to talk about something."

"It's about the fight at the gate," You spoke quickly, eager to get your point across.

"That's over now, we've all agreed that." Deanna reprimanded.

"Yeah the fight's over but the reason it started remains. Look Deanna, my group's been willing to sacrifice some stuff, weapons mainly, but your group needs to make the same types of compromises."

Deanna shuffled in her seat, willing to do her best as leader and listen, "What are you proposing?"

You held out the book, which she took and started flicking through, "I want this to be mandatory, everyone here, man woman or child, should know this. You should live and breathe that book because it's how we've all survived out there; then teach it Deanna, I won't take no for an answer."

"A fair proposal indeed," Deanna answered almost distractedly, "but there are a few problems in what you're asking."

"I don't see how," You replied haughtily.

"You're right (Y/N), we all need to make compromises and if you really want this then I'm going to have to ask you to make a few more."

"I'm listening."

"First, this is your handbook, something you know, so you'll teach the class."

"Done."

"Second, classes will be separated by age. The older folks will be taught one day, younger citizens the next, and so on; I don't want this interfering with your duties."

"Alright."

"Third, you can only teach children younger than twelve with parental consent."

"Everyone need this Deanna-"

" **Parental consent**."

You stared Deanna down for a minute, grumbling a huffy, "Fine," when she didn't budge.

"Good. Finally, I'm not the head of security here, you have to teach the course with him."

"Sounds reasonable, who is he?"

"(Y/N), it's Aiden."

"What?! Deanna no, I don't care if he's your son or not, I'm not working with-"

"I'm not asking, I'm telling. This isn't a negotiation (Y/N), these are conditions. If you want our communities to start working together then somebody needs to take the first step. If people see my son, who was so against letting you in, working with one of you, they'll be more flexible in future scenarios. Now, I know it won't be easy and he won't like it either but that's my final condition, whether you like it or not."

Petty hatred flooded through you, making it difficult to answer. You doubted there could be any way you and Aiden could work as a team with such controversial ideals on survival; it wasn't a merger, it was a war waiting to happen. Despite the easy, petulant 'no' that was forming, you thought of all the other people who needed your help in Alexandria; this was bigger than two people alone, this was for the good of the community.

Begrudgingly, through gritted teeth, you said, "Fine."

* * *

Deanna watched her son pace back and forth with disappointment; she'd hoped he would've taken the news of working with you better, yet here he was, throwing a tantrum like a child who'd lost his dummy.

Aiden continued ranting, "I AM NOT WORKING WITH THEM – YOU DIDN'T SEE HOW BARBARIC AND UNDISIPLINED THEY WERE OUT THERE MOTHER. THEY KNOW NOTHING OF FOLLOWING ORDERS AND-"

"THAT'S ENOUGH, AIDEN," Deanna shouted, shutting up her son who couldn't believe he'd been told off. "I've heard two very different stories about what happened and I'm not sure which I'm inclined to believe. Yes, this is a steep learning curve but I'll be damned if you throw it away because you don't want to do it. (Y/N) was actually keen to work with you on the grounds that, maybe, you'll learn to understand each other a little more, do you understand that kind of step forward?"

"I knew she'd hate- Wait, she wants to work with me?"

"Yes," Deanna lied, using her skills as a politician, "and maybe you'll find that you like what she has to teach. If you two pool your knowledge, we might be able to bridge this gap you've built."

"I built?! They were on the other side of that fight and-"

"I don't care! No more finger pointing. (Y/N) has graciously accepted to work with you, so you're going to show the same courtesy or so help me, I'll promote her to security chief."

Aiden blustered, "Ugh- Fine but if anything goes wrong, I'll know I was right."

He stormed out the house angrily, much to Deanna's dismay; this was going to be a tricky negotiation.

* * *

Deanna called the community to attention, gathering everybody in front of her for the big announcement. Everyone looked past Deanna towards you and Aiden who were stood reluctantly behind her; it was easy to assume that she was about to reprimand the two of you for yet another fight. Daryl stood to attention, ready to defend you, should the need arise. He looked to Rick, who held his hand flat by his side, a subtle signal, yet clear all the same; wait.

"Now that everybody's here," Deanna echoed clearly, "I have an announcement to make. (Y/N) and Aiden have graciously agreed to work together, teaching mandatory survival classes to all citizens of Alexandria. These classes will be split by age and I'll pin a schedule to the town notice board shortly. Does anyone have any questions?"

"What'll be in these classes?" An older man in the back asked.

Deanna smiled, "(Y/N), I believe that's for you."

You stepped forward, taking a deep breath and answering confidently, "We'll be teaching how to deal with walkers, other survivors, self-defence, how to use your environment to the best advantage, medical tips, and general survival."

"How're us old 'uns gonna fight?" Another man asked.

"The self-defence will be tailored to age which is why we're splitting the age groups."

"What about our children?" A woman in the front asked.

"Anyone under the age of twelve needs parental consent to attend though I highly recommend these classes."

Nobody else spoke, leaving you feeling uncertain. Deanna took charge once more, "If that's all, you can all go back to your business now, good evening."

The crowd dispersed, leaving only Rick and Daryl.

"Did you know about this?" Daryl whispered to Rick.

"Not a clue."

"What d'ya think?"

"It could be good for us, maybe she can learn if anyone's dangerous and report to us."

Daryl mumbled in agreement, walking over with Rick to join you.

"How'd that come about?" Rick asked.

"I gave Deanna a book of survival tips and she made me teach a class with Aiden; Rick, I would've told you if I knew what was going to happen earlier," You answered.

"Okay, I want reports on where everyone's at in these classes (Y/N), also keep an eye on Aiden, I don't trust him."

"Neither do I, still, I'd rather have him where I can keep an eye on him."

Daryl grunted in disgust.

"You got a problem with that?"

"Yeah, these people can't survive shit and you know it."

You smiled, "Daryl, you say that about everyone, you said it about me when we met. They'll find a way, I'll make sure of it."

"Not with him," Daryl referred jealously to Aiden.

"You kidding? I'll need someone to defend myself against, I get to kick his sorry ass in front of three classes, on a daily basis; this is gonna be a blast."

Rick and Daryl snorted, the idea of hitting Aiden with reason was just too good not to laugh at.

"Alright," Rick agreed, "I can see you're clearly doing this your way, just promise you'll be careful."

"Thanks Rick, I will."


End file.
